Friday, October 4, 2013

Rant at your own risk

Somewhere I read that the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. When I first read those words, it scared me. I thought about all the things I just didn't care about. From big things like arguing about evolution, Calvinism vs Arminianism, Politics or vaccines/health stuff all the way to small stuff like fads in fashion, anything Hollywood or traditions.

I know what I believe. I know how I feel. I know wisdom that has been spoken to and over me. I know only my experiences.

Maybe I should learn more about science so I can have an argument?
Maybe I should care more about politics?
Maybe I should pay more attention to what is going on in the world?

A huge part of me just feels like I am one little vote and it doesn't matter. But then the argument is that everyone is just one little vote that makes up for the whole population. Ok, I get that.

Another huge part of me takes the route of saying that God is in control. I know that He is Sovereign and has His hand over my life. This is not my home, so I don't really care who the president is. I've been told that is a cop out. I really don't mean it that way. Would it be great if we had a leader who genuinely loved the Lord in office? Yes. Do I honestly think that America will elect someone with those values that I hold dear? No.

I don't like to argue. Ever. I don't like to be mad. Because of this, I compromise. A lot. Sometimes I have trouble finding the line that is between "pick your battles" and "stand up for what's right". I would rather pick no battles.

Do I like our President? No. But I don't hate him. I think that he needs serious prayer. Sure, I have opinions about what he is doing and not doing. But I'm NOT going to waste my time being angry over something I have no control over. It's a waste of time.

This is just one example of an issue in the world, but my answer is going to be the same for pretty much every scenario.

Calvinism vs Arminianism? Seek God, find out what you believe and stop trying to shove your ideals down other people's throat. If I was supposed to completely understand this argument or the trinity or any other spiritual mystery, God would tell me the information. Does that stop me from seeking out my answers? No. But I'm not going to waste my time getting mad at what you believe.

Vaccines/Health Stuff? Sheesh. I don't know. I haven't done enough research. Honestly, my opinion is that pretty much everything causes cancer. I have to have my daughter in daycare so I have to have her vaccinated. I don't really have a choice. Would my decision be different if I didn't have her in daycare? Who freaking knows. Maybe. Maybe not. I think I have more of an apathetic stance on this because it is so overwhelming. I can't tolerate dairy, so I do soy, but soy is bad for you. Eat wheat bread, not white, but wait wheat is bad for you. Gluten is bad for you. Everything is bad for you and we are all gonna diieeeeeeee. Well guess what? We are all gonna die eventually. I'm going to happily eat chocolate while you eat vegan soy-free tree limbs with hummus. I still love you Angel and Vee and Mama VP and JennyLynn! More power to you guys, seriously. I just really don't care as much for my lifestyle. And I love chocolate.

Fads and Fashion? This one just makes me laugh. It's definitely not something new for me. In highschool, I would show up to hang out with my friends and they would literally make me change my clothes for not wanting to be seen in public with me like that. hahaha Again, love you Angel and Vee! They seriously helped me not look completely retarded with my messy pony tail, no make up and baggy tshirts. It's just not really that important to me. Do I have a silent envy/inferior complex hanging out with my best friends? OF COURSE! I have the most beautiful friends on the planet, y'all. Seriously. I can't even compare, it's a ridiculous amount of flawless genes from the big gene pool.  Masterpieces. Art. Beauty. Inside AND Out. Nids, Nikki, Vee, Angeline, Shay - you girls are my family. Love you and your pretty faces.

I just don't want to argue. Every single person has a different idea or way of thinking on every single subject that is defined by their experiences, upbringing, friends, past, present circumstances, finances, family, etc. There are billions of elements that factor into a person making any decision or forming any thought.

I see Miley Cyrus in her video "wrecking ball" and my heart just breaks. She is obviously hurting, obviously searching to fill a void.

I see the news on Whitney Houston, Heath Ledger, Cory Monteith and so many others and my heart just breaks. How sad and lonely and empty must they felt?

I read the stories on bullying, abuse, anorexia, suicide in people and animals and my heart just breaks. I see my friend Tasia being blocked on Facebook because some people just can't live their own lives. They just have to insert their own hateful opinion and cause ruckus and ruin. Tasia has one of the most purest beautiful souls of anyone I know, and I haven't even met her in person!!! She loves the people around her and she loves her kiddos with everything she has. If you don't like the pictures that she posts on her personal facebook, DONT LOOK AT THEM. None of them are inappropriate. None of them are distasteful.

I'm not saying accept everything that everyone is doing, but LOVE them. Love people. Love them! I'm not saying I'm perfect at loving people. Not at all, but I try.

So sorry to the people who have stuck through reading this long blog rant. I don't even have a solution. I don't know if I don't care enough or if I care too much about certain things. I don't know if I sound pompous....I surely hope I do not as that is not my intention. My heart just aches for people, for me even.

Nothing that is argued about is of consequence. I say this not meaning that the subject matter isn't important, but that when presented in an argument, the opposing party is no longer reasoning with you but defending their stance. Arguing solves NOTHING. And no solution will ever be found if it is not sought out in love. Arguing about differing opinions like trying to explain statistics in a different language. You will never see eye to eye because we are people of emotion.

No one has ever been truly "won over" by being judged, cut down or yelled at.

So even though I'm in a weirdly crappy mood today, I'm going to do my best to love the people that I come in contact with today.

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

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