Thursday, July 7, 2016

Write to Remember: God cares about what we have lost

The past couple of mornings, Ryot and I have been doing a YouVersion Devotional on Elisha. This morning in our quiet time, we read in 2 Kings 6:1-7. The story is a strange one. A group of prophets are building houses when one of the ax heads falls into the water. The prophet is distraught because it was a borrowed ax. Elisha then throws a stick in the water and causes the ax head to rise to the surface of the water.

It may seem like a random story, but the devotional goes on to point out that God cares about what we have lost. He cares about the details. Ryot and I talked about how God cares about when we lose tangible things and when we lose intangible things, like joy and peace.

Our conversation went like this:
Me: When was a time that you lost joy?
Ryot: ummm, Tuesday, I think.
Me: What happened on Tuesday?
Ryot: Maybe not on Tuesday, actually.
Me: Ok, so when was a time that you lost joy?
Ryot: In my dream
Me: Your dream last night? What was your dream about?
Ryot: Bad guys
Me: What did the bay guys do?
Ryot: They killed Jesus
Me: They killed Jesus in your dream last night?
Ryot: uhhuh, and that is not joy.
Me: No, you're right, it's not. What happened next?
Ryot: He rose to life again!
Me: In your dream?
Ryot: Yes!
Me: Yes, that is great joy!

We talked more about what that means, and how Jesus cares about our joy. He delights in giving us joy, and we have to fight the enemy and our selfish sin nature from taking it away from us.

I pray every night with Ryot that she would have sweet dreams that are pure, lovely, and from Jesus. I pray that she will see His face and know His voice. I pray that He will speak to her and fill her with His peace and love.

I did not give her enough credit when I asked the question. I was thinking about losing joy over not getting candy for breakfast, and she breaks out with the resurrection.
Don't underestimate the little children.
Don't think they don't know what you are talking about.

I write this to remember, and remind you that God cares about what you have lost. He is not idle.

Before we knew Him, God loved us so much that He sent His only Son to pay the penalty for our sin. Jesus came knowing the pain He would endure, and chose to die on the cross for us even when we did not choose Him. We sinned, and He paid the price. He knew that we would keep sinning, and He still chose to pay the penalty for us. But that's not all. He beat death. He rose from the grave. He is alive! And He cares about all of the little things and the really big things that we have lost.

He cares about the things that have been lost.
Jobs
Friends
Miscarriages
Homes
Relationships
Money
Reputation
Joy
Life

He wants to give you life. He wants to replenish you with Joy. He knows all of the cracks and voids, and He has exactly what you need to fill them.

If He cares about a borrowed ax head sinking in the water, He definitely cares about the worries in the heart of His children.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Moving Nightmare

We pulled up to a modern building with black stone columns and metal gates on the windows. I helped Sweetness unbuckle and we walked hand in hand toward the door. "Who is this guy again?" I asked Jacob. He smiled, "I can't exactly pronounce his name, but he's supposed to be the best." My stomach became a little uneasy and blood boiled a little.

You see, I don't like surprises. I like schedule. It is sometimes a point of contention between my handsome hubs and I because we are so different. He wants to have no plans and just drive around aimlessly looking at things. I want to schedule down time so that I know that for the next hour and 23 minutes I can do whatever I want- be it rest, or writing, playing with Ryot, or watching tv. We are just different, and that's ok.

It's Saturday. Jacob is happy. Just go with it. I calmed my nerves down and smiled back at him. "It's an adventure, I guess." I said as I grabbed the door handle. Immediately I thought we were in the wrong place. "Is this a joke?" I asked Jacob, but when I looked at his face full of wonder, I knew he wouldn't be responding. The walls were painted in dark blues, greys, and blacks, but with the lights so dim it was hard to tell some of the colors apart. Occasionally there was a wall with a bold geometric print painted on it. The decorations on the displayed art were dark colors and modern designs. This all seemed so far away from any sort of design that Jacob and I had considered.

"I'm going to look around." I told Jacob as Ryot and I began to walk through the store. I repeated myself since I had heard no response. His look of concentration didn't waiver as his thumbs separated page after page of modern gothic designs. Is this really happening? What is he thinking? I walked through a narrow hallway to large space decorated like a room-to-room furniture store. The only difference is that the huge vaulted ceilings that are normally caressed by ceiling to floor windows seemed like an endless pit going up. There were no windows, and few lamps. Most of the lamps on display were tinted to be darker or a color like red. I squinted trying to look at the designs as the staff dressed in all black walked by emotionless. At least we weren't getting hunted down by sales people. That was just about the only silver lining of this place.

We made our circle around the room and found more bold prints, geometric shapes, dark colors, metal, and leather. It was all different variations of the same exact thing. Back through the narrow hallway, we spotted Jacob in the same place we had left him. A staff member was opening a book half the size of the table to show Jacob the designs for painting the living room. "Ciao Bella!" the staff member startled us with his boisterous greeting. He quickly dashed around the table to kiss both of us on the cheek and then returned to his spot on the other side of the desk. I know he said his name at some point of our meeting, but before I could ask him for it again he was back on track. He spoke very quickly over the next few minutes through a thick Italian accent. I didn't catch all of it, but made out that he was the owner, and that they had pretty much planned everything out in the 10 minutes that Ryot and I had been perusing the designs around the store.

A variation of dark blue paint swabs, dark blue geometric shapes in a pattern, pictures of dark blue and black furniture with modern metal accents all laid out in books and magazines on the desk. "Woah, woah, wait. I think we need to think about this a little more. We don't even have a house yet." I reminded Jacob as we had just talked with our realtor the day before. "How long is this job going to take?" I put my hand in the middle of the table and looked back and forth between the owner and Jacob. "Five to six weeks, finito" the owner said to me and stood in silence for the first time since I had returned to the table.

Five to six weeks? My blood pressure started rising. We don't have five to six weeks. We have to move in four. FOUR. We have four weeks to move all of our stuff out, clean the apartment, and turn our keys in. We don't even have a place to live yet. We would have to find a place today and go through all of the steps to finalize that it's ours on the same day, and we still would be displaced one to two weeks while the design team was finishing our space. There is no way that this timing was going to work out.

I looked at Jacob and took a deep breath to ready my response.

Then I woke up.

I guess the combination of talking to our Realtor yesterday, creating an event to ask my friends to help us move, and renting a moving truck all before actually having a place to live is weighing heavier on my mind than I thought.

So much for sweet dreams!