Madlib Olympic Commentator

Even though I don't know all of the rules, regulations or scoring requirements, I still enjoy watching the Winter Olympics. My absolute favorite is Curling. The strategy and technique of it intrigues me. I heard on the radio that the average age for the Olympic Curler is in the 30's. Who knows? Maybe I still have a chance. 

I was having trouble coming up with a sufficient amount of information for an eloquent blog post, so you all get a Madlib. Props to my Mr. for his contributions as well. Enjoy!

Personality Quiz

There have been several personality quizzes floating around Facebook recently; most of them from Zimbio.com of buzzfeed.com.

What Disney Sidekick are you?
What Star Trek Character are you?
What Sesame Street Character are you?
What Arrow Character are you?

Most of the time, I disagree with the results I get. Why is that? Am I subconsciously answering the questions incorrectly? I wonder if my insecurities come into play when I'm asked "What is your best attribute?". I know I always think a little harder when asked that question. I wonder if my ideals of the kind of person I want to influence when I'm asked "What do you do on a rainy day?". Is my first answer what I want to be like or the answer I really am? At the point that you receive the less that desirable verdict, do you retake the quiz? Are the results less than desirable because that's not who I want to be or because they don't accurately display who I am? Is there a conflict because who I am and who I want to be are so far off? Are they so far off because I have unrealistic expectations of myself?

That was a lot of questions. Surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly to some of you smarty pants out there, a lot of these answers rest in both categories. I believe sometimes my answer is who I want to be instead of who I really am. Sometimes I would like to think that I am really detail oriented, but I'm not. Sometimes I get this picture in my head of who I would rather be instead of just loving who I am completely. That's not the case all the time, or even most of the time, but definitely hits the grid at some point.

What do you think? Do you agree with your results? Do you agree with my results?

Send Me!

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Not I trust you if...
Not I trust you when...
Not I trust you for now...
No conditions...
No if's, and's, or but's...

A trust without borders. A trust that allows me to jump and fly instead of fall; to step out and walk instead of sink in the water. A trust that defies all gravity, all preconceived notions of how something is supposed to be. Spirit lead me, teach me, talk to me, guide me. Spirit lead me to places I have never been and never thought I could go. Throw my inhibitions to the wind and let me run and never tire. Give me vision. Give me insight. Reveal your heart and desires for my life so I can pursue them without question.

Help me shine your light, and carry your presence like a sweet perfume that all will notice. Open your arms so I can find rest in you. Renew my spirit and send me running back out to a world who needs your love.

Here I am. Send me!

Weekend Recap: Valentines day edition

Weekend recap!

My brain works in weird ways. No, I'm serious. For example, if someone tells me that I am looking good or asked if I have been working out, my next meal will probably be healthy and I am really motivated to work out. If someone asks if I am pregnant, which happens more often than you'd think, or if they say that I've gained weight it seriously is like permission to grab an extra brownie and say 'screw weightloss!' A little backwards, I know. 

You might think that when someone hates their job, they would love their weekends. That is, however, the opposite case for me. I thought I loved my weekends before, but now that I love my job I enjoy my weekends so much more because I don't have the dread of Monday morning hanging over my head. I have an active relationship with a perfect loving God who speaks to and through me on a daily basis. I have the honor of being the mommy to the most adorable and precious little girl I could have never designed hmyself. I have been so blessed with a caring Godly man by my side. I have shelter, food, security, clothes and the necessary items to live a comfortable life. What more do I need? 

My weekends have been filled with so many fun activities and this weekend was no exception. 

Friday the Mr. and I got a surprise blessing when his sister, Ashley, offered to babysit for us so we could have a valentines date. She is the one who set us up and she is the one who is helping our relationship grow with encouragement and occasional babysitting. I'm so grateful! 

On the way to dinner, Mr. and I talked about those beginning days. We laughed at the small mishaps and awkward moments and both expressed how thankful we are that things continued so we could get to this moment. We went to dinner, got ice cream (White Russian and chocolate for me!), went to the beach to watch the waves roll in, and then I got to see where he works and meet some of his coworkers. We came back to Sweetness peacefully sleeping and talked with Ashley and her fiancé, Thomas. Such a great night!

Ready for our date!

Yum!

So handsome!!!

Beautiful flowers!

Saturday morning Sweetness and I leisurely got out of bed, cleaned, ate breakfast and just spent good quality time together. We watched pitch perfect where she danced and laughed which of course was more fun for me to watch than the actual movie. Then we went to the park to swing high on the swings, balance on the curbs, make piles of mulch, learn how to be kind to new friends, and Mr. met us there to play and walk on the dock over the water. 

What a diva!

About to go to the park!

Balancing!

She literally stopped halfway down and complained because she wanted to go fast. 

Swinging is both her and my favorite thing!!

We went back to the house, ate lunch, and put Sweetness down for her nap. Mr. and I played Egyptian War and enjoyed good conversation, a lot of laughter and maybe a little bit of cheating. We heard Sweetness' movie end and she immediately came downstairs. We soon found out it was no coincidence because she fell asleep in the car not even 2 miles down the road on the way to dinner. She stayed asleep through getting her out of the car seat, through the whole dinner, putting her back in the car seat and going to Mardel's. She only woke up in the Marsel's cart because I had to prop her upright in the tiny cart. I should have taken a picture of her fantastic sleep lines and bed head. 

We have so much fun! 

Laughter is good medicine!

In deep conversation, obviously. 

My two loves!

We had barely left the house and she was already out!!!!

Sleeping in the booth!

Yum! 

This weekend has come to a close and now it's Sunday! Time for us to go to church, celebrate the birth of my niece with family and rest so that we can be rejuvenated and motivated to hit the ground running! I am so blessed. Love my life!

Can you see it?

One photo. One snapshot of time. Beauty caught within the borders of a frame. The story that you take from each picture is yours to ponder. Do you wonder what really happened? Only the artist knows. Each stroke of a painting, each line drawn in charcoal, each flash of light capturing a single moment in time is life; beautiful and dangerous coexisting in harmony.

It's a daunting task to behold beauty in with every breath. Every step is painful as you pass by the very things that make life possible. Everything existing as it should. We all encounter millions of inanimate objects and living breathing miracles every day that somehow seem to cohesively work in unison to fill the minutes in a day.

Can you see it? Have you stopped to breathe in the sweet aroma? Have you noticed the dew on the flower's petals? Have you watched the steam dance off of a warm cup of coffee? Have you marveled at the masterpiece of architecture that surrounds us? Have you gazed at the ripples of water reacting to the life under it's surface? Do you realize the automatic movements your muscles make in connection to the messages your brain sends, most often subconsciously? Do you realize that life, precious life, is taken every day because those that don't see the beauty that this world possesses?

You are a part of this masterpiece.
You are a piece of the puzzle.
You are an integral part of the foundation of life.
You are indispensable just by breathing.
You are beautiful.
You are needed.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Realize that you are a part of something perfect.

Beauty surrounds you, 

encompassing you,

 begging you

 to see 

and be seen.

Nothing Else Matters

At the end of the day, this song is what it boils down to. Sometimes it's not even the end of the day. Sometimes it's while you are crying at work at 10:13am on a Thursday. Sometimes you just have to sing through the tears and frustration. Because He is good. Taste and see for yourself. He is good and His love for you is insurmountable.

Lord, nothing matters more than just to sit here at Your feet and worship You. This is my song I will sing today. Nothing else matters.

When You walk into the room, everything changes 
Darkness starts to tremble at the light that you bring
When You walk into the room, every heart starts burning
And nothing matters more than just to sit here at Your feet and worship You

We Love You, and well never stop 
We cant live without You, Jesus 
We Love You, We cant get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

When You walk into the room, sickness starts to vanish
Every hopeless situation, ceases to exist
When You walk into the room, The dead begin to rise
Cause there is resurrection life in all You do

We Love You, and well never stop 
We cant live without You, Jesus 
We Love You, We cant get enough
All this is for You, Jesus

Come and consume God, all we are 
We give You permission, our hearts are Yours
We want You, We want You

This is all that matters.

Three Things

Three things *before* Thursday:

I ate breakfast for dinner. 

I am stressed about an important meeting tomorrow. 

I just bawled through a movie that I'm not sure anyone but my closest friends would understand why I loved it so much. 

*edited to show 'before Thursday' since apparently it was Wednesday when I posted this. Those tricky calendar days....*

I am just that, one piece.

Dishes in the sink. Clothes in a pile. Was that a Barbie purse I just stepped on? Yawn. Yawn again. Two yawns in a row? That's ridiculous. Shake my head vigorously and get to work.

Ok, dishes done, two toys thrown in the general direction of the sweetness' other toys and I'm finished for the night. My pj's have never felt this good. I glance over to my table where 1000 little segments of a Kinkade painting are spilled just begging me to fit the pieces together. I sit down at the table with a long, relaxing sigh.

This piece is beautiful. Some green to the right, and a small splash of blue from what might be part of a flower? Or maybe it is part of the sky from the top of the tree? I'm not sure. It's intriguing just like it is, but it needs to be connected. It is designed to fill and be filled. The actual act of filling and being filled doesn't subtract from the beauty of its current state but only serves to add more beauty and purpose to the bigger picture.

Like a pitcher that water is poured into then subsequently re-distributed to fill the cups of the thirsty.

There are gifts, talents, skills, ideas, words, and pieces of beauty specifically designed for me.

I am just that, one piece. 

A small piece with some greenery and a splash of blue. 

I am beautiful and intriguing in and of myself.

But that is not all.

I am designed to fill and be filled as part of a bigger picture.

But it has to start somewhere. 

I am beautiful and intriguing in and of myself. 

A small piece with some greenery and a splash of blue.

I am just that, one piece.

Gracious Reminder

Totally losing my faith in humanity. Why is everyone so negative? Why are people complaining about having to do what they are getting paid to do? I have NOT had enough coffee for this! They are so angry or irritated! Why does everyone come in my office and complain to me?

Because they are drawn to My Light.

I'm minding my own business. I'm doing my job.

I didn't create you to 'just do your job'. 

I'm not bothering anyone.

And they aren't bothering you. They are just showing their need for My Light.

It's like sandpaper! I'm trying to respond in the right way but it's wearing me down!

Let them sand off the surface of your efforts so I can shine through. Their grinding is refining your endurance in long suffering. Come to my feet and I will give you rest. Your joy will be renewed. This is a process. I have planted you here for this season.

I needed that reminder.

How do you blog?

How do you write your blog posts?

How do you manage to write everyday?

Do you have drafts waiting to be completed?

Do you write on prompts only?

Do you sit down at a blank page and just get inspired to eloquence?

Are you looking for things throughout the day to give you subject matter to write about?

How does it happen for you?

I have 4 drafts in my post roll that need to be completed. Sometimes they are easy drafts for the busy days and sometimes they are drafts because I can't seem to put into words what I need to convey. One of the drafts is the part 2 of the cliffhanger that I have been asked to finish. I haven't added a lot to it because I have no idea what I'm doing! But I'm sure I will finish it eventually. Two of the drafts are kinda similar topics that I'm not sure if I should combine or if are going to take different routes. And one of my drafts is my ranting draft. Yes the draft that I can madly type into and re-read to see what the real issue I need to deal with is. It usually becomes a blog post but definitely not in that initial draft form. Thank The Lord for that!

Sometimes my blog posts come to me from my quiet times or experiences throughout the day. But the majority of the time my blog posts come from me beginning to text someone or update my Facebook status and realizing that I have way more to say on the topic than I previously realized.

Happy Blogging my Sparky loves!

The Ugly Truth

There are always two sides to every story.  Like this:

I am showering in a beautifully clean shower this morning. 

How is this possible on a Friday morning when I work full time and am full time mommy to a 2.5 year old AND I'm sick? Well obviously I must just be a really dedicated mommy, hard working house keeper and have somehow found the genius way to siphon energy from the sweetness, of course in a non-evasive procedure. 

Negative ghost rider. 

The truth? Ryot pooped in the tub last night. The LAST thing I wanted to do towards the end of the work week, at the end of the work day, right before bed time while coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose constantly...was to clean out the bath tub. 

My life is awesome. I talk about it all the time. I post statuses about how much I love my crazy girl, crazy job, crazy life. I really do love it. I'm not lying. But my joy comes from somewhere, someone different. I don't enjoy putting sweetness in timeout for running away in the parking lot but then Im reminded that I am helping guide her passions towards being a contributing member of society. I don't like stepping on Barbie shoes and having to constantly pick up toys, but then I am reminded that the reason I am picking up these toys is because I have been so blessed to have a child at all.  

I have so much to be thankful for. There is ALWAYS silver lining. God is ALWAYS there in trouble, triumph and trying times. I am tested every day. I fail every single day. But I also succeed every single day because the goal is not to have a perfect life but to love God and love other people and there is not just one right way to do that. The stay at home mommy that has never been divorced doesn't have a better life than I do, just different. We have all been given a separate set of skills, talents, and situations that enable us to accomplish a task meant for only us. We might meet some like-hearted peole along the way but no one is exactly alike. Don't desire my life or someone else's life, desire joy. Yearn for joy. Seek joy in your specific life. Ask God to overflow you with joy. That is a prayer request He will answer EVERY time. 

So don't be fooled! If you start to feel a twinge of jealousy or discontent as to why I, or other ridiculously happy people on Facebook, are so happy, just always go back and reference this post. When you see my status about laying in bed with the sweetness and cuddling or when I post how thankful I am for this crazy life I have, I might have just cleaned poop out of the tub. 

And that is nothing to be jealous about. 

Dream of Hope

People intrigue me.

So naturally, the relationships between people intrigue me. 

I solicited Google to see what the recommended searches would be for key phrases. Let's see if you are as confused as I was...actually the answers scared the living daylights out of me.

I searched "I wish my husband"

"I wish my husband would die"
"I wish my husband would leave"
"I wish my husband loves me"
"I wish my husband was dead"

I searched "I wish my wife"

"I wish my wife would lose weight"

"I wish my wife would have an affair"
"I wish my wife would love me"
"I wish my wife was this dirty"

I searched "I wish my parents"

"I wish my parents would divorce"
"I wish my parents were dead"
"I wish my parents were rich"
"I wish my parents never had me"

I searched "I want my child"

"I want my child to be gay"
"I want my child support"
"I want my childhood back"
"I want my child to be a model"

It's hard to find the words that I am feeling right now. I am devastated. I remember being at the low of the low and feeling like I couldn't breathe because of the pain I was in. There is a point of anguish and hopelessness that a person's heart can reach that is absolutely suffocating. I have been there. I know it's true. But there would have to be a lot of people in that state of desperation for it to effect the main search engine of the world. I don't wish that type of pain on anyone, and knowing that the majority of our population feels hopeless makes me angry and sad at the same time.

I just wish I could talk to these people. I wish that I could help them. I wish that I could share with them the hope that I have. I wish they understood that there is healing and hope specifically set aside for them!

Even through abuse, there is hope.
Even through neglect, there is hope.
Even through loneliness, there is hope.
Even through financial hardship, there is hope.
Even through bitterness, there is hope.
Even through depression, there is hope.
There is no area or corner in the depths of your heart that hope can't reach.

Is it a quick fix? No, of course not. But there is no such thing as ruined people. I thought I was ruined. I thought I was no good and that I had nothing to offer. Now I have a wonderful life full of love, real friendships, great successes and so much joy that will only continue to get better the farther down this life road I get.

You can change your stars.
You can write a new ending.
You can be happy.
You can have hope.

This hope is free to you as a gift from someone who loved you literally more than life itself.
It was purchased in blood.
It was purchased with you specifically in mind.
So that through His death, you could be resurrected with Him to live a life of JOY.

I dream of a search engine that will say things like
"I wish my husband would know how important he is to our family."
"I wish my wife would realize how beautiful she is."
"I wish my parents would know that I am thankful for them"
"I want my child to know they are special."

I dream of people searching for how they can make the world a better place.
It can not be ignored any more.
Too many women are in slavery to human trafficking.
Too many men are addicted to sex, drugs and pride.
Too many children are neglected or abused.
Too many people are hopeless.

I don't think this dream is too unrealistic, but it has to start somewhere.

Blitz thoughts: Good Eater, Sickness and The Croods

Blitz post!

1. My usual picky non-eater ate 4 chicken nuggets, 2 oranges and 2 servings of spaghetti. This is a miracle otherwise known as a growth spurt. 

2. I have been coughing and recently have been attacked with congestion. I took some medicine as a precautionary measure and will be doing all I can to avoid sickness like the plague. Now of only the weather would stop being bipolar.....that would help. 

3. We just watched The Croods with Ryot. I really enjoyed the animation, bright creative color schemes and that the lead girl wasn't a toothpick. I did not like the incredible lack of respect for the dad that the entire family displayed for the majority of the movie. Even though it was remedied in the end I think there are too many parts that will be mimicked by little people who watch it. 

These are my blitzed thoughts for today. My brain is foggy from this headache and sort of coming on sickness. 

Happy 30th Birthday Dustin!

It's a very special day today. Today is my big brother's birthday. I have many sisters, but only one brother. I have a lot of memories that flood to mind when I think about my brother. Memories of rollerblading through the apartment complex. Memories of big brother torture probably instigated by me being the annoying little sister...sorry bro. Memories of learning how to play Super Mario and beating the game several times. I was in awe! 

I have memories of talking to him on the phone the day my mom died. I was so scared and he made me feel so much better. I have memories of being terrified and having horrible nightmares while he was deployed with the Marines. That followed by extreme excitement, relief, and pure joy when he finally returned home and would come visit. I have memories of bragging about my big brother to all my friends. 

At 7 yrs old, I looked up to him for his Nintendo skills.

At 14 yrs old, I looked up to him for being a hero.

Now at 24 yrs old, I look up to him for being a great man after God's own heart.

I knew he was going to be a good husband before he got married; and he chose a beautiful, smart, hilarious, kind, and Godly wife that is a wonderful addition to my band of sisters.

I knew he was going to be a good dad before Addison was born; and he helped create an adorable, smiley, smart, and sweet little girl that I am lucky to call my niece.

I know he will excel in whatever he does in the future because God is on his side. 

I have enjoyed what I have gotten to experience of the first 30 years and I am definitely going to enjoy the next 30. I know that God has some awesome things planned for my brother, Heidi, Addi, and all the people that come into their lives. 

Happy 30th Birthday to my FAVORITE big brother. 

I love you.

Icy-Hot

Schools shutting down

Icy roads

Major wrecks

A little snow

Getting ready for date night 

Why am I sweating?

It's 78 degrees in my house
Turn on A/C in January