Small effort big reward

Men need to be respected.
Women need to be loved.

We know this from Ephesians 5 and from general observance of the human nature in relationships.

So the next logical question (that unfortunately isn't often so logical) would be to ask your spouse:

How do you receive love/respect?
What can I do/say to make you feel loved/respected?

Such a simple question that could make a world of a difference.

If the answer is that your wife wants you to genuinely listen to what she has to say when she is stressing over an argument with a friend or relative, what harm would occur from just listening?

If the answer is that your husband needs to hear more encouragement and praise instead of the honey-do's or complaining, how hard would it be to change the way you speak?

Is it harder to be miserable or to make a small effort towards increasing the happiness of the one you love. Cherish the relationships you have. Nurture them as precious gifts.

A plan foiled...happily

Talking to friends about the Holy Spirit while reading a book about transforming my mind while my Pastor is taking us through a study on the Holy Spirit on Sundays.

Think I'm supposed to learn something here? When God wants to make His point known, he repeats himself. It is shown all in the Bible...ok, I'm listening. I'm learning.

Two weeks ago my Pastor showed us that listening to the Holy Spirit should be an ongoing, day by day, minute by minute communion with the Spirit. The book I'm reading calls it the "indwelling" of the Holy Spirit. My Pastor said that we need to listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling us to do no matter how small it is.

Last night I had just settled Ryot in bed and went back downstairs. Feeling slightly like death while coughing and sneezing, I sat down on the couch to relax a little and maybe watch a movie.

Out of nowhere, I hear this:

Proverbs 31:10

An excellent wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.

 

But I really want to lay here.

I'm so tired.

 

Proverbs 31:15

She rises while it is yet night

and provides food for her household

and portions for her maidens.

 

But I really want to watch this movie.

I don't feel well.

 

Proverbs 31:27

She looks well to the ways of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

 

Ok, I'm now up and cleaning my kitchen.

I load the dishwasher and smile as I think about Ryot helping me with the dishes. Love that little girl and her servant's heart!

 

I wipe my counters and see the medicine that spilled on the counter from earlier causing me to pray for my sweet Ryot to feel better. I feel accomplished as my countertops are clean. I feel proud that I am creating a clutter free environment for Ryot and myself. I feel proud that I am making this crazy life on my own as a single parent. I feel so thankful for where God has brought me from helpless to hopeful.

 

As I head upstairs, I'm so thankful for the toys that I have to step over.

I walk up the stairs and see my sweet angel sleeping in her bed. I of course have to go kiss her cheek, whisper I love her and say a prayer for her health, safety and that she would know the love that her heavenly Father has. I take a shower and as I lay in bed I am so proud of the little home that I have been blessed to be slowly crafting with God's help and direction.

 

And my grand plan was to lay on the couch and sleepily stare at a tv screen.

 

God's plans are always better than mine.

 

 

Who is the unlovable?

 

 

 

Love the unlovable.

What is your definition of unlovable?

Who is your definition of unlovable?

I remember going to pick up pizza with a friend. When we pulled up, she hesitated and told me she didn't want to go in the pizza shop. I looked through the windows and saw the employee high-fiving a little kid and smiling at the kid's dad as they walked out. She was still refusing to go in the shop saying that the guy was "freaky". When I looked back, I saw for the first time his arms and chest were covered in tattoos, his face had several piercings and his clothes were not the greatest...and it hit me...He was "unlovable" to her. And at that moment something else hit me - because he was unlovable to her, at that moment she was unlovable to me. Both of us were wrong.

People with piercings, tattoos or crazy hair are just that - people with piercings and tattoos and crazy hair. People like me and you. It doesn't mean they are irresponsible or dangerous or "freaky". They choose to wear art on their body instead of have art hanging on the wall. Still people in need of kindness, compassion and love....just like the Brady Bunch family sitting across from them in the restaurant.

"We have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."  Romans 3:23

Who is the unlovable in your life?

Is it the people in your life that have a bit of a wilder streak than you?
Is it the Brady Bunch people that look like they have it all together?
Is it the family member that you don't think is making the right decisions in life?
Is it the friend who always nit picks or complains?

What about politicians? What about our President?

What is your definition of unlovable?

We are called to love. Period. Not only love your family. Not only love the people you agree with or those who agree with you. Not only love the people who look like you. Not only love the people who live in your area.

Love. Period. An open blanket statement to love everyone. An open blanket statement to be of ONE mind.

Love God. Love People.

Caring is becoming extinct

Philippians 1:21 is a pretty popular verse:

'For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.'

We are all anticipating and desiring the coming of the Lord. However, if you read further, there is a struggle here. Paul says that he wants to depart and be with Christ but it is necessary for him to stay with the people for their benefit.

What Paul does is for others. He says he is 'hard pressed' between the two choices. He isn't ONLY saying that he wants to be with Jesus, he also has a heart for the people. We should want to be with Christ, but we should have such love for the people that we are hard pressed with the decision between the two. Like on verse 25, we should 'continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith.' Not for our degrees or careers or personal goals/success, but the building up and edifying of the other believers - All as a group edifying each other.

There should be no such thing as people not being invited to church or outings, judgement of circumstances or closed homegroups. What is that?! You might not be a 'people person' by nature but we are called to be 'people peoples', so you can no longer use that as an excuse. Everything we do should be building each other up, encouraging, admonishing, stretching our faith and being genuinely involved in each others lives - all to the glory of Christ.

Open up to those around you.
Don't be afraid to be real.
Get out or your comfort zone.
Build each other up.
Get interested in the lives of the people around you.
Love as God loves.
Wake up and stop wasting time.

Purpose in Trials

Everyone goes through trials. Everyone's trials are different. I might go through a temporary wanting-to-pull-all-my-hair-out-because-my-toddler-won't-stop-saying-mommy-mom-mom-mom-mommy-mom-128359823750179542837523576 times-like-Stewie-from-Family Guy trial. It might be a bigger more heart-breaking trial like my marriage ending a year ago. For my friends in college and my little sistaface Paige in highschool, your trial might be senoritis or just the stress of the school workload. For the Nevils, they experienced the trial of a horrific car accident that took the life of a Godly mom/wife and severely injured a bright, beautiful daughter (who is recovering quite nicely, praise God!).

When Paul wrote this particular letter to the Philippians, his trial was that he was in prison. From prison, this is what he wrote:

"Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. ¹³ As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. ¹⁴ And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
¹⁵ It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶ The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸ But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, ¹⁹ for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. ²⁰ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴ but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. ²⁵ Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, ²⁶ so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me."
Philippians 1:12-26

You hear believers and unbelievers alike say "Everything happens for a reason". Myself along with hundreds of other people have been touched and truly encouraged by the story of the Nevils. (I don't know if the link will work, but you can search "Praying for the Nevils" in Facebook and find them) I have been following their journey on Facebook and adamantly praying for them. I have been brought to tears by their faith and positivity through a horrible tragedy in their family. I don't think any child should ever have to go through life without a parent. I know firsthand how hard it is. But look at how many people have been ministered to through Steve Nevil's unwavering faith in our great God. There is purpose.

I was completely at the bottom of the bottom, heartbroken and scared when my marriage ended. I didn't understand what I did wrong or why I wasn't good enough. I didn't know how I was going to be a single mom. I ached to my core thinking that I had failed Ryot in giving her the stable home that I always wanted for her. But God....God had a bigger plan for me. I am now more in love with God than I ever have been in my life. I am happier than I have ever been. I have joy that lasts throughout daily struggles and worries. I have a purpose and a calling to do more and be more and accomplish more than I ever could have imagined. I could not have gotten to this place while still trying to please everyone around me more than God...including my husband. Now, I'm not saying this to get into a debate on whether God caused or allowed this to happen. That is another topic entirely.

Paul could have whimpered and sulked and cried out to God asking why had He let such a horrible thing happen to Him. Instead Paul focused on what was being accomplished through the trial. Through my divorce, I now have a heart for marriages and single parents. I have an experience that helps me identify with others. I have met some of the most amazing people and have gotten to minister to people in similar situations. Every experience, good and bad, has shaped me into who I am. I can sulk that I am a struggling full-time working mom living in a new area...OR...I can trust that God has me exactly where He wants me and is preparing me for something greater. I can trust that God will be my validation and will fill every void for Ryot that I thought my failed marriage would cause. There is purpose.

We are human, we have emotions, but we can NOT be run by our emotions. God will receive the glory whether we give it to Him or not. But how much happier could your life be and what could you accomplish if you surrender your wants, desires, struggles, heart aches to Him and see a purpose in it?

We are allowing our emotions to limit us from the freedom and purpose that we already have in God. Wake up and accept the victory that Christ purchased for us on the cross!

Spirit and Truth in One

Last Sunday I tried a new church and fell in love. I fell in love with the people. I fell in love with their openness. I fell in love with their passion. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. To top it off, the message was exactly what I needed to hear. Imagine that! ;) We just so happened to start a new series on the Holy Spirit. Seriously, perfect timing to pair with the conversations I've had recently, the book I've been reading recently and ultimately exactly what God has been teaching me.

Below are my notes, thoughts, quotes, etc all meshed in one.

Acts 18:24 "Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures."

Sounds great, right? He had a thorough knowledge of the scriptures...this is something to be envied. However, the latter part of vs 26 says that Priscilla and Aquila "invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately."

God is thoroughly in the scriptures, but there is so much more to God than just knowledge. The question that needs to be asked is this, "Do I have a living, acting, knowledge AND experience of the Holy Spirit?"

John 4:24 says "God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth."

There is no separating the Spirit and truth. You can't say that you believe in the Bible but not believe in the Holy Spirit. My pastor said "Get off the see saw! You are missing out AND actually swinging in error." We can not continue to separate the Spirit and truth...And here is proof:

From the very beginning Genesis 1 says that the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. He was there from the very beginning. The Holy Spirit is the co-eternal, exact representation of God on earth with us. Genesis 1:26 reveals a plural pronoun saying "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness."

2 Corinthians 13:14 says "May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." The Father, the Son and the Spirit - three in one. God is calling us to embrace the Holy Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:17 "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." We can't treat the Holy Spirit as a commodity. The Holy Spirit grieves and loves. The Holy Spirit is not an "it". You can't choose God and Jesus without the Holy Spirit. They are all co-equal.

John 14:16-17 shows that the Holy Spirit is our advocate.

John 14:26 shows that the Holy Spirit teaches and reminds us.

Jesus by choice limited himself to time and space. In John 16, Jesus explained to his disciples that it would be BETTER for him to leave and for them to have the Holy Spirit because we can have the Spirit all the time. Jesus could only physically be in one place at a time, but the Holy Spirit dwells within those who believe. The presence of God IS the Holy Spirit.

Example: the wind. We can't see it, but we certainly see the effect. A relationship with God should be accompanied with the effects of the Holy Spirit in our lives!

Pastor Fred then pointed out something that I had never really thought of before. He said "The spirit realm is more real than the physical realm. The Spirit of God created the physical world so all of reality actually dwells in the Spirit of God." Now if this doesn't get you excited, I'm not sure what will!

Ephesians 1:13 says that we are marked with the seal of the Holy Spirit. When a king marked a document with a seal it was binding and authoritative. No one could take that away. How true is that that we are marked with the very Spirit of the living God - the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead! No person, no spirit, no entity, no experience, no sin, no fear, no doubt - NOTHING can separate us from the Spirit living and dwelling in us.

Meditate on the Bible, yes, but there is SO much more that He wants to show us as His children!

Joshua was told by God to study the law of Moses. Joshua was obedient and knew the law backwards and forwards. But then God told Joshua to march around the walls and shout and then the walls would fall down. Where was that in the law of Moses? It wasn't. He had to listen to the Lord's Spirit. The Bible provides truth but the Holy Spirit speaks in the NOW way.

Romans 5:8 shares God's love being poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. I certainly want God's love. I can't receive God's love, or healing, or blessing or favor through any other facet except His Spirit.

I can memorize every scripture in the Bible. In fact, I would personally love to do that. But what good is it, if we are not whole-heartedly listening to the Spirit for what we are supposed to DO?

Accept the Spirit. Accept His role in your life. Experience, literally, a whole new world of possibilities.

Get it. Got it. Good.

I had an entire blog post typed up about something that I talk about frequently, but had problems when I went to post it.

So I tried to post it again and had more problems.

Ok, I hear You loud and clear. It's not my place to elaborate this time.

This is all I have to say today:

No Sleep For Me!

Four reasons why I couldn't sleep last night:

 

1. Thunderstorm.

There was one HUGE BOOM that set off car alarms last night. Seriously? Thunder so loud that it shook the cars? I don't like rain or storms (as I referenced in my post here), but I was reminded by my awesome sister-in-law today, through her facebook status, that "this is the day that the Lord has made", so I am going to "rejoice and be glad in it". (Psalm 118:24) I didn't like that the thunder woke me up. I didn't like that the car alarms all went off for 20 minutes keeping me awake. But I did like how I was immediately reminded how great and powerful my God is. It was a moment between me and Him that I guess I needed. Everything happens for a reason and I fell back asleep until I was woken up by reason #2.

2. Peeing - This might be TMI. Sorry, not sorry.

I think my subconscious was hearing the rain outside because I woke up not just merely having an urge to use the facilities....I woke up and sprinted up the stairs like 7 steps at a time to barely make it to the bathroom on time. Errrr, my bed was so comfy, but I can't be frustrated considering I drank like 3 bottles of water right before I went to sleep. But after that cardio work out, I couldn't fall back to sleep because of reason #3.

 

3. Committee Meeting.

When you think and think and think and think about sleeping and think about not sleeping and then start thinking about what you are going to wear and eat and do and drink and think the next day and then think about where you are in life and how much money is in the bank and why you can't figure out how to describe what water tastes like....I call those committee meetings. They are great to do during the day like in the shower or while driving, but at night they are quite inconvenient. But all this thinking then turns into dreaming which brings me to #4.

 

4. Nightmares/Thriller Dreams.

 

 I was not dreaming about Jennifer Lawrence. I was not even particularly dreaming about The Hunger Games, but more of a thriller dream/nightmare with a Hunger Game influence. I remember almost the whole dream/nightmare, but it ended with a one-eyed, 6'4, 300 pound, Thor-looking beast of a man creeping around a van that I was hiding behind while holding a 2x4 ready to smash my head in. Not exactly a pleasant feeling. I can't say that it was entirely a nightmare because I wasn't really terrified like scary but more terrified like anxious and feeling like those very creepy moments right before a murderer in a mask jumps up in front of the window you are intently staring at. I was waiting and creeping and sneaking and lurking and hoping that this giant didn't find me and crush in my skull. I suddenly woke up from that and strangely wished I hadn't. I wanted to see how it ended. I wanted to escape. But now I will never know.

So right now, I am making myself a pot of coffee...yes, an entire pot. Don't judge me.

Couldn't I?

I don't think I'm the only person who has ever said, "I can't".
I don't think I'm the only person to think "I'm not good enough".
But Jesus paid my debt. While I was still, and am still a sinner, my debt is paid.

What an incredible gift!

I am saved from death, yes. I am saved from unhappiness and I take that so for granted. There are so many people taking pills for depression.  There are so many people who end their lives because they can't find a way to be happy. My own mom ended her life because the stress of the world was too heavy on her. Completely unnecessary! Even if my world turned upside down...even when my world turned upside down when I was 8 and then thrown for another loop just a year ago, I still have every reason to sing His praises and be filled with indescribable joy. My Savior took my sins, washed me white as snow and now His Holy Spirit lives in me. There are so many people addicted to drugs or alcohol that give them that temporary high when they could have this permanent freedom and joy that no man-made drug could ever produce! I am so grateful beyond words and emotions for the sacrifice made on my behalf, but it can't just stop there. I can't just be grateful and continue living in my little grateful bubble. What are we doing?

Matthew 9:18-22
While he was saying this, a synagogue leader came and knelt before him and said, “My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.” Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples. Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

This woman was healed by merely touching Jesus' cloak, right? No. This woman was healed because she believed that by merely touching his cloak she would be healed. So often in my life I have desperately wished I could have walked with Jesus. I wish I could have been there to see Him perform miracles. I wish I could have seen Him walk on water. I wish I could have heard Him speak and witnessed first-hand how He loved others with the perfect amount of justice and mercy.

WAIT. STOP.

 

This is crazy! Why would I believe that Jesus would perform these miracle, teach great life-changing sermons, love His people perfectly, die for my sins, rise again to be seated with the Father, and then all of what he did just vanish? This is a ridiculous belief! Now, I didn't realize that that was what I was believing but that is sure how I was acting! After He ascended to be with the Father, it says in Acts 2 that "all of them were filled with the Holy Spirit". When I took the step of believing in God, His Holy Spirit came to live in me. Yes, Peter got to walk and talk with Jesus, but I have Him living in me. 

 

I believe His Holy Spirit lives in me. Couldn't I teach great sermons?

I believe His Holy Spirit lives in me. Couldn't I love His people as He did?

I believe His Holy Spirit lives in me. Couldn't I perform miracles?

 

We are capable of great things not because of our own goodness or willpower but because our powerful and perfect God.

 

Take a step out of the comfortable grateful bubble. There is a world beyond imagination that we were destined for! A world of the seen and unseen. A world of spiritual warfare and great miracles.