Friday, July 25, 2014

Please join us


The chains have been broken. Your debt has been paid in full. You have been restored to your free status. There is nothing that anyone can do or say that will take that status away from you. You have every weapon you could imagine to your disposal. You have allies in every city and country in the world. You have the map and directions on how to get where you need to be. You also have inside you a supernatural force that empowers you with strength, discernment, and knowledge. 

There is an enemy out there that is stealing from your friends, your family, and you - right in front of you. 
This enemy ruins marriages, steals belongings, sets houses on fire, takes jobs, and slaughters millions of people. 

Are you still standing in the cell?

Why? Two is better than one. Four is better than two. Three thousand is better than four. But if we all stand in the cell, lives will continue to be lost. 

Please, put on your armor. Pick up your sword. Fight with me. Don't let the enemy steal what does not belong to him. 

We are in a battle so if some of us get tired, don't leave us behind. Tensions will be high because there is a lot at stake, but we must not let division happen in the ranks. We have to stick together. We have to have each other backs. We can't let the enemy slip in and place fear or judgment between us. We can't fight about how much armor we have or if yours is nicer than mine. We have been given exactly what we need. And if it keeps us alive that's all that matters. 

Don't try to do what I do. You have a specific set of skills that you have been given. You have weapons I don't. Practice with them. Use them. We are going to need them in this battle. And if you don't use them, who will? We can't afford dead limbs on the tree. We all have to work together. 

See the thing is, we've already won the war, but most of the people here don't know. We have to tell them. We have to give them their armor and weapons. We have to get them out of their cells. But you have to step out of yours, first. 

Please. Please join us. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Great Handbag Abyss - 31DC14

What's in my handbag?
Woah, now. This is getting a little personal. If you're sure that you want to embark on the journey to the great abyss that which is my purse, I will accompany you for your safety. 

As we jump into the front pocket, we are immediately greeted with the enticing smell of peppermint from the two new packs of Cobalt flavored 5Gum. Then seemingly out of place you will see America's Number One Ouchless Elastic Bands and some Essential Oil that my dear friend Kathy gave me when Sweetness tried to dance with the ants this past Sunday. (Shout out to Kathy for being an amazing friend to the rescue! Love that woman!) The zipper of this front pocket always stays undone because I chew gum all. day. long. Random fact about me. You're welcome.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, we will venture to the capital of this purse colony. Dun, dun, dunnnnn!

The first thing in my line of sight is my Costa Sunglass case. For those of you who own regular sunglasses, let me just tell you about a product that has changed my life. I used to get headaches often while driving. I was used to squinting my eyes so much that I'm sure I will need botox to get rid of that wrinkle in between my eyebrows. With the Costa's I don't ever have to worry about that! I wear them even if it's not bright outside because I can see better with them than with my eyes alone. The polarized lenses took me about a day to get used to, but now the only thing I notice is the little rainbow of colors that I see when I look at some windows. Who doesn't want more rainbows in their life? They make the world a more magical place which is totally worth the money you spend on them. Unless you have an amazing fiance like I do who buys them for you. (Shout out to the Mr. Thanks darling!) Come on. So without further ado it is, dare I say, my duty to tell you to buy Costa's. Do it. You're welcome, again.

The second thing I see is my beautiful Coach wallet. There's no fancy pattern. It is just blue, which is perfect for me. It is special to me because my niece and my brother in law picked it out for me for my first mother's day after becoming a single mom and living in a brand new state. I wasn't expecting to get anything at all. It was a wonderful surprise that I will cherish forever. (Shout out to you, dear familia! Love you!) I would never purchase a Coach for myself because I hate spending money, but this thing has lasted me 2 years! Durable, cute, and brand name. Golly, I'm spoiled!

A receipt from Target, the CD from my family/engagement/Sweetness pictures with the waiver, a semi-colored picture from Sweetness, a Blue Raspberry Dum Dum wrapper, and my checkbook are wedged in between my wallet and a cute blue flowered bag that I have 3 tubes of chapstick, a tattoo sunscreen stick, hand sanitizer, and deodorant in.  Ya know just random essentials. I'm sure you were just DYING to know this information. You're welcome, again again.

The bottom of my handbag is a mystery to even me. I rarely ever clean out my bag so we will be adventurous together. I found 7 pens and a sharpie, Excedrin Migraine meds, 4 crumpled gum wrappers, a straw from a juicebox, a bag with 29 dollars and a ton of quarters that I used for my sister's garage sale, a pair of 3T training panties for the Sweetness, a hair claw, and my keys.

You see, I'm prepared for life. You never know when you will need a juicebox straw....

31 Day Challenge - Day 14

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Psychoanalysis

So here is the scenario- the car behind me slips to the lane next to me slowly speeding up with full intentions on passing me. This doesn't bother me because they obviously have some urgency, when I do not. There is too small of a gap between the car in front of them and me in the other lane so I lift my foot off the gas to make a little room. That's when they quickly accelerate and cut in front of me like their life depended on it and speed away. I don't mind being passed but it's that last little jolt that's irritating. Like they won over on me or somehow outsmarted me to push their way through the space like I wasn't willingly slowing down to let them over. 

I will probably never see them again AND it really doesn't matter. So why do I feel that small twinge of irritation?
It's nothing that ruins my day, but it does make me question....

What about the situation is frustrating?

Is there anything I could have done to avoid the irritation?

Why does it matter if my kindness is rejected? I should be kind no matter if it is received or not?

Am I just trying to control the situation? Like, am I "allowing" them in because I'm nice and I subconsciously think they should be grateful for my kindness?

What is the real problem rooted in?
I think it stems from a fear of being misunderstood, yes, a need to be understood. 

Why is that important? What other areas of my life does this affect?

Why am I thinking about this? Ha!

Why do I psychoanalize my actions, reactions and interactions?

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Money Issue - 31DC12&13

This weekend while having dinner with some friends/mentors, I was asked this question:

"If money wasn't an issue, what would your perfect wedding look like?"

I don't like this question. I think I don't like this question because money has always been an issue so I don't know how to imagine money not being an issue. Part of me thinks dreaming is just a waste of time because it just creates an envy in me for what I can't have. I want to dream about things that I can accomplish, yet I know that dreaming will open up doors to places and opportunities that I never imagined I could accomplish. This is my dilemma. I typically want to make achievable goals. But if I will try to relax and be fun instead of so serious, for your sake. So, if I wont the lottery I don't know what I would do with every cent, but here are some things that came to mind (in no particular order):

- Pay off debt
- Secure college fund for Sweetness
- Buy a reasonable house
- Donate to my church and other charities that pull my heart strings
- Go on a cool vacation
- Pour time and my new found resources into making writing more of a possible full-time career.

I'm sure there are more things that I would do with such a large amount of money, but I think those six things are a good start. I know that I would want to use the money to pour into abilities, talents, and opportunities.

I don't know who said it, but it's one of my favorite quotes about money and being frugal.

"To be frugal means to have a high joy-to-stuff ratio."

I would love to win the lottery. But I would have to buy a lottery ticket first, and I'm too frugal for that. ;)"

31 Day Challenge - Days 12 & 13

That morning was my proudest moment - 31DC11

It's scary to be alone. It's scary to be pregnant for the first time, have a baby, be in the care of the worst hospital staff in the US (I'd be willing to bet it is), and to be alone. But we did it, little girl. I stayed up staring at your perfect little features, watching your chest rise and fall with every breath, and just being in awe that you were finally here. Bringing you into the world was intense, scary, and nerve-wrecking. There were so many nurses and doctors in the room. After you entered the world, bliss and the greatest joy overwhelmed any pain or nerves that I felt before. You were and are perfect, beautiful, and best of all, mine.

The next morning when I woke up, you were awake but peacefully taking the world in around you. As exhausted as we both were, we had conquered the the first night, alone but together. Just you and me. 

That morning, just me and you, is my proudest moment. 







Thursday, July 3, 2014

A little now and a little then - 31DC8, 9 & 10

There are some things that gross me out. I can't explain it other than I was created this way. The idea of a needle puncturing the skin, slicing its way through your insides and coming out on the other side just plain FREAKS ME OUT.

IV's
Shots
Piercings

All gross.

I worked up a lot of courage to go get my ears pierced just a few months ago. This would be the 3rd time in my life I have had the pierced and I was determined to not let the holes close up again. I couldn't bear the thought of having to pierce them any more. At least now, I am in a stage of my life that I am not playing sports and sweating almost all day so I can stay clean and they can heal.

Mr. and I went to the shop and I was mentally preparing myself the whole way by talking to Mr., texting friends, taking pictures, and just slightly having an anxiety attack inside. But I was determined to overcome my fears and get this done.

The last time I had earrings was in 2008, as you can see from the pic below.


And here is an old pic from before I even had any tattoos!


And to go back even a little further...this pic is before I ever really cut my hair and WAY before I started dyeing it. THROWBACK for real!

And while we are on the subject of throwbacks, I might as well tell you about one of my very first celebrity crushes....(it's a stretch, I know but I need to catch up on the challenge). I don't know if they were my very first crushes, but they definitely were in the beginning when I started noticing cute boys. 

check out these studs!



You're Welcome.










Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Top 10 - 31DC7

I probably could live off of the same foods for the rest of my life. I had a little bit of a difficult time coming up with 10 of my favorite foods for the 31DC Day 7, and most of them are sweets. But here they are in no particular order:

1. COFFEE- this is considered a food because it is made from a berry.
2. Brownies- warm and gooey middle pieces, preferrably
3. Fruit- All fruit except watermelon and honeydew melon
4. Potatoes- in any form
5. Peanut Sauce- (my aunt's recipe is the best) with chicken satay and rice. yummmmm
6. Cupcakes- Rise Cupcakes are the best!
7. Basil Pesto Chicken- on a sandwich, in pasta, in a salad, those flavors are just perfect together
8. Spinach Artichoke dip- warm and cheesy and melty
9. Graham Cracker Praline- so delicious and simple!
10. Double Chocolate Fudge Coca-Cola Cake from Cracker Barrel- God's gift to my taste buds.

Now it's not even lunch time and I'm starving! All of my thoughts for losing weight and eating healthy are being replaced with mouth-watering chocolate cake. But I must press on! 

I'm just thankful I don't have to eat manna every day.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Do you have at least three? - 31DC6

I will partially blame not having a computer at home for why I didn't blog on Sunday. It is hard to think when you have to type and scroll on that tiny screen.

I will partially blame not blogging on Monday because I was slammed at the office. However, one would counter that I had time to be on Facebook. Yes, I was busy at work, but I wasn't too busy that I didn't have enough time to blog. I saw what the challenge was for Sunday (31DC6) and I froze a little -"3 Personality Traits that I am proud of". Ugh. No bueno. 

My thought process went back and forth something like this:

Oh gosh, I don't know.
          No, you need to be confident.
But how do I brag about myself?
          Bragging and confidence are two different things
But it just feels weird talking about what I'm proud of myself for
          You are royalty. A princess. A beautiful creation. Boasting in His image is not bragging. 

So here it goes:

ONE
I was given a beautiful heart of mercy. One that can only be described as the mercy of God flowing through me because I love everyone. I used to not protect my heart of mercy so I would love to the point of other people trampling me, but oh, how that has changed. My feet are now firmly planted in truth and I am free to love without being taken advantage of because my identity is not rooted in their acceptance of my love and mercy, but instead is unshakably buried in a great love and acceptance from the Author of unconditional love Himself.

TWO
I am probably annoyingly optimistic. The glass is not have full, it is all the way full - half water, half air. I'm happy 99% of the time and if I'm not happy, it doesn't take me long to get happy. This was not always the case, but when you worship God there is no other way to be than joyful. He overflows my heart with music and singing; dance and laughter spew from me like an erupting volcano. Except it probably does happy damage instead of engulfing things in boiling fire lava. That would most certainly create the opposite of joy. I usually see the silver lining, the upside, the reward, or whatever glimpse of goodness there is in a situation. I gain joy from the smallest pleasures and am perfectly happy just being in His presence for a little joy refill.

THREE
I would like to take pride in being low-maintenance. I guess you might want to double check with Mr. to see if he thinks the same. I don't have to have designer bags or brand name clothing. I don't have to wear makeup everyday. My hair often isn't curled or hair sprayed. I don't mind getting a little dirty to help move furniture or do yardwork. (Side note: I HATE yardwork. I hope I never have to pick weeds again. However, I don't mind at all helping a friend or neighbor if they really need it. I would just rather pay someone to do my own. THAT,  I don't mind spending money on.) I don't need Sweetness to have the latest and greatest toys or clothes. I think being low-maintenance is a good quality to have. 

Maybe the third point is just me being lazy by not wanting to fix my hair. Maybe it's me being stingy with my money and not wanting to go shopping for nice things. Maybe it isn't a good quality trait at all. ha! I don't know. But I do know that the only reason those first two are on the list at all is because of my great God. Yes, he created me unique and beautiful, but my flesh often times doesn't want to do productive and positive things. It is His Spirit in me, in communion with me, teaching me gently, guiding me with wisdom that meets me right where I am. And through spending time with Him I have more joy and more peace than what would ever make sense. He is good. All the time. He is worth it. He is powerful and has equipped me to do powerful things with His power working through me. It's all because of Him that I am able to walk in victory and with confidence. 

I am learning every day to walk confidently, maybe next week I will have 3 more traits that I am proud of. 

I would like to hear your 3 traits that you are proud of.
Do you have to think hard about that?
Or does a list form naturally in your head?
Is your list formed from confidence in yourself or in who you were made to be?