Today my friend Hannah received some not so nice words from an obviously unhappy woman in Subway. This woman made cutting remarks calling Hannah lazy for being a (SAHM) stay at home mom. I don't get angry at stay at home moms, but I do get jealous. It is something that I seriously have to give to God every time it pops in my head. I see pictures of moms doing art projects or playing at the splash pad. I see updates of families going to the zoo or visiting friends for play dates and it makes me a little sad. Ryot and I go to the pool occasionally when I get off work, but she is usually so tired from her play day at daycare that a later bedtime means a groggier start to the next day so it really is like a once a week treat. We reserve that kind of fun for the weekend.
Ryot is getting to the age where she really loves to help me do things around the house. She loves to wash "wabee"(water) so she helps me with the dishes which really just creates more work for me. But I just think it is so important for her to spend time with me and learn responsibility at the same time. I drop Ryot off at 730am and I don't pick her up until 530pm. Even typing that out and thinking about those hours honestly makes me sick to my stomach. I didn't have a child to have someone else raise her! But I don't have a choice. I don't have the option of staying at home. There is only me. Sure, I could quit my job and live off of government assistance, but that's not how I was raised. I am working really hard to provide for Ryot financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This is ONLY possible by getting my resources from God. His money, His heart, His strength, His guidance, His joy.
I like working. In fact, I love my job. I love the intellectual challenge and interaction. I love learning new things. I love the to do list being checked off. I have great rapport and relationships with my clients, vendors, employees, coworkers and bosses. I just miss her. I just point blank miss her every second of every day. I have two pictures on my desk of her and I just stare at her in awe of such a beautiful creation and gift from God. I love working, but I love going home more.
I am not the perfect mom, not even close. I raise my voice sometimes. Sometimes I don't pay attention to her, but then immediately I am gut-wrenching sorry. Sometimes I hide her Strawberry Shortcake movie. Sometimes I specifically eat chocolate after she goes to bed because I don't want to share. Sometimes I pray for a longer nap time. Sometimes I buy coffee instead of stickers or something that Ryot would really love. Sometimes I get frustrated. Sometimes I just don't have what it takes.
Right now I want to erase that whole last paragraph so no one knows of my selfishness sometimes. But even through my selfishness, there is no one on this planet who loves that little girl more than me. I have more good days/moments than bad ones, but I am doing the best that I can. Hannah is not better than me for staying at home to care for her two rambunctious boys. I am not better than Hannah for working full time. It doesn't matter if her house is cleaner than mine or if I get more "free" time than she does.
If you are a stay at home mom, how about you provide a home-cooked meal for a working mom so that is one less thing for her to do?
If you are a working mom, how about you offer to watch her kids for a couple hours on your weekend so she can go pamper herself or relax for a little bit?
What matters is that we both love our babies the most that anyone could possibly accomplish and strive everyday to give them what they need. We, as moms, need to team together to encourage each other instead of cut each other down.
*off of soap box now*
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