If you aren't aware of the journey I'm on and why, check out this blog post here. It will all make a little more sense. Enjoy, and thank you for stopping by!
4:20am- Alarm is buzzing and I know if I lay here for another minute I will fall back asleep. I spring up out of bed and into the bathroom. I have always been a morning person. I love them. I love the idea of a brand new start to the day. I love the morning air. I love getting up while the Sweetness is still sleeping. I love watching the sun rise. It is a beautiful blessing that will take your breath away and if you let it, will set the tone for the rest of your day. There is something miraculous and crazy beautiful that screams to glorify it's Creator with the whole spectrum of colors on the sky's canvas every day.
Even though I'm a morning person, I don't usually get up this early. My alarm will go off anytime from 5:00am to 5:30am depending on my time of going to bed and moos from the night before. Getting 30 extra minutes doesn't seem like a lot but it definitely is when you went to bed only 4 hours earlier. I understand that getting 4 hours of sleep is not healthy. Today was a little special. I had to be on the road to Houston at 6:15am so I had to prepare and get both of us out the door. I have zero plans tonight so I should be golden for an early bed time.
6:30am- I made it to downtown Houston safely and drank my Meal Replacement Shake in my car in a parking garage. I'm sure I looked suspicious as I was looking over my shoulder. It felt so weird and secretive, however, I was not going to let a small change in my normal routine to throw my whole cleanse off. I actually got really excited when I realized it was Day 4 and I didn't have to drink the Fiber Drink! It was one less things I had to mix in my car. Nobody saw me, but I'm sure I would have gotten crazy looks. After drinking my MRS, I felt full and invincible; ready to handle business.
10:00am- I did not receive the outcome of the situation that I wanted, so I will probably have to go back to Houston in the next couple weeks. I know that when this is finally over, a huge weight will be lifted off of my shoulders. I wonder if it will show on the scale?
Overall, my morning did not quite go as planned. Anxiety, horrible stress and long periods of anticipation are hard to handle all at once. I was having to remind myself to breathe. But either way, I serve a great God and everything will work out fine. I drove back to the office in tears. Not the cute one tear drop crying, but the I-can't-breathe-or-talk-or-think-or-see-to-drive heart-wrenching sob. Sometimes it's good to puke all your emotions out like that. It really does make you feel a little better. Right now I feel lethargic physically, slightly brain dead mentally and emotionally spent, but I know that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Mr. helped calm me down and I received sweet encouragement from some of my Lfiegroup girls, so it was easy to remember the good. I can't say enough positive things about having a good community. Church or just friends, get involved. Losing weight, staying on track, being positive = all of those things are possible to achieve individually but it's so much easier and more fun to encourage and receive encouragement from each other.
1:00pm- Mr. brought me lunch, fruit and a good couple laughs which was such a relief. I was in a HORRIBLE mood. After lunch and my OmegaPlex, I was craving some sweets, especially being so stressed and sad, but I made a good choice and chewed some Big Red gum instead.
3:00pm- Three Catalyst done and done! I received a call with potentially some very good news concerning my meeting in Houston. I'm not getting my hopes up, but there is a possibility that everything will work out as I had planned earlier.
4:00pm- Geez, today has been a roller coaster of emotions. I'm craving sweets, but I will refrain. Pink Lemonade Spark instead!!
5:30pm- My boss told me that I could leave work a little early as soon as our new driver returned. However, no one had properly trained him so I had to stay a little longer to tell him where to put things and what the procedures were for paperwork. If I want him to do the paperwork correctly, then someone has to train him the right way. Instead of leaving early, I ended up leaving late which was a little frustrating but after the day I had I didn't really have any emotions left to spend.
I picked up Sweetness and met Mr. at Black Eyed Pea for dinner. I ate the veggie plate with a caesar salad and I drank water. I did NOT eat the delicious rolls or cornbread. I did NOT eat Sweetness' Mac and Cheese. I did NOT eat her banana pudding or drink her chocolate milk. I ate my portion of food and two bites of Mr.'s pork chops which were probably the best I have ever tasted in the history of everywhere.
8:30pm- At home drinking water and watching Homeland with my Mr. I refuse to be drawn into my late night cravings. Tonight will be a relaxing, calm night of nothingness. Just what my over fried brain needs. I love my life.
Recap: Today was really, really, really, really, really hard. I'm exhausted. I don't want to think. The only thing I know is God is still good. All the time.
4:20am- Alarm is buzzing and I know if I lay here for another minute I will fall back asleep. I spring up out of bed and into the bathroom. I have always been a morning person. I love them. I love the idea of a brand new start to the day. I love the morning air. I love getting up while the Sweetness is still sleeping. I love watching the sun rise. It is a beautiful blessing that will take your breath away and if you let it, will set the tone for the rest of your day. There is something miraculous and crazy beautiful that screams to glorify it's Creator with the whole spectrum of colors on the sky's canvas every day.
Even though I'm a morning person, I don't usually get up this early. My alarm will go off anytime from 5:00am to 5:30am depending on my time of going to bed and moos from the night before. Getting 30 extra minutes doesn't seem like a lot but it definitely is when you went to bed only 4 hours earlier. I understand that getting 4 hours of sleep is not healthy. Today was a little special. I had to be on the road to Houston at 6:15am so I had to prepare and get both of us out the door. I have zero plans tonight so I should be golden for an early bed time.
6:30am- I made it to downtown Houston safely and drank my Meal Replacement Shake in my car in a parking garage. I'm sure I looked suspicious as I was looking over my shoulder. It felt so weird and secretive, however, I was not going to let a small change in my normal routine to throw my whole cleanse off. I actually got really excited when I realized it was Day 4 and I didn't have to drink the Fiber Drink! It was one less things I had to mix in my car. Nobody saw me, but I'm sure I would have gotten crazy looks. After drinking my MRS, I felt full and invincible; ready to handle business.
10:00am- I did not receive the outcome of the situation that I wanted, so I will probably have to go back to Houston in the next couple weeks. I know that when this is finally over, a huge weight will be lifted off of my shoulders. I wonder if it will show on the scale?
Overall, my morning did not quite go as planned. Anxiety, horrible stress and long periods of anticipation are hard to handle all at once. I was having to remind myself to breathe. But either way, I serve a great God and everything will work out fine. I drove back to the office in tears. Not the cute one tear drop crying, but the I-can't-breathe-or-talk-or-think-or-see-to-drive heart-wrenching sob. Sometimes it's good to puke all your emotions out like that. It really does make you feel a little better. Right now I feel lethargic physically, slightly brain dead mentally and emotionally spent, but I know that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Mr. helped calm me down and I received sweet encouragement from some of my Lfiegroup girls, so it was easy to remember the good. I can't say enough positive things about having a good community. Church or just friends, get involved. Losing weight, staying on track, being positive = all of those things are possible to achieve individually but it's so much easier and more fun to encourage and receive encouragement from each other.
1:00pm- Mr. brought me lunch, fruit and a good couple laughs which was such a relief. I was in a HORRIBLE mood. After lunch and my OmegaPlex, I was craving some sweets, especially being so stressed and sad, but I made a good choice and chewed some Big Red gum instead.
3:00pm- Three Catalyst done and done! I received a call with potentially some very good news concerning my meeting in Houston. I'm not getting my hopes up, but there is a possibility that everything will work out as I had planned earlier.
4:00pm- Geez, today has been a roller coaster of emotions. I'm craving sweets, but I will refrain. Pink Lemonade Spark instead!!
5:30pm- My boss told me that I could leave work a little early as soon as our new driver returned. However, no one had properly trained him so I had to stay a little longer to tell him where to put things and what the procedures were for paperwork. If I want him to do the paperwork correctly, then someone has to train him the right way. Instead of leaving early, I ended up leaving late which was a little frustrating but after the day I had I didn't really have any emotions left to spend.
I picked up Sweetness and met Mr. at Black Eyed Pea for dinner. I ate the veggie plate with a caesar salad and I drank water. I did NOT eat the delicious rolls or cornbread. I did NOT eat Sweetness' Mac and Cheese. I did NOT eat her banana pudding or drink her chocolate milk. I ate my portion of food and two bites of Mr.'s pork chops which were probably the best I have ever tasted in the history of everywhere.
8:30pm- At home drinking water and watching Homeland with my Mr. I refuse to be drawn into my late night cravings. Tonight will be a relaxing, calm night of nothingness. Just what my over fried brain needs. I love my life.
Recap: Today was really, really, really, really, really hard. I'm exhausted. I don't want to think. The only thing I know is God is still good. All the time.
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