Not a bother

This morning I was listening to a sermon "A Call to Pray" by Matt Chandler which can be found here at the Resources at the Village Church. Really, you should just go listen or read it.

I have been focusing on my prayer life recently. Instead of being the "I'll pray for you" girl, I wanted to really be someone who not only intercedes for her friends, but is so deeply engulfed in communion with God that we share the same heart. I want to pray His will. I want to pray and not just request, but 100% believe that it will be as I ask. My faith and belief are both so easy to waiver. I so often feel like David praising God for His faithfulness one second and crying out for Him to not forsake me in the next. I know that as long as I am on this earth I won't be perfect, but that won't keep me from striving.

One thing Matt said is that God is not bothered by me. This struck a huge chord in my heart. When I look in the mirror or seriously examine myself, it is so easy to see where I fall short. I see my flaws and my shortcomings. I have those moments when I think that I can't ask him for anything else because I have been "bothering" him all week/month. I am needy. I need Him. I need to need Him. I was CREATED this way. This is not a flaw but a staple of who I am. I need Jesus. He is life. Period. This is not going to change.

Luke 18:1-8
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

God is not like the unjust judge who is bothered by some beggars. God is loving and gracious and cares about my fragile heart and over analytical mind. I am invited. I'm not merely tolerated. I am invited to be in His presence. I am invited to worship Him. I am invited to "bug" Him with my heart, my hopes, my despair. I am invited. YOU are invited. You are invited whether you know Him or not. He knows you. He loves you.

I am not a bother. I am a blessing.