Ask

God is patient.
God really is patient.
Are you listening?
God is patient.
Not my version of patient where I clench my jaw, force a fake smile, take a deep breath so I can respond to the 28th time that the sweetness has whined "mmmoooommmyyyy I want cake."
He says "Come to me. Ask me again. I will reassure you. Come to me. I will empower you. I am here for you. Ask me again. Come to me."

So I will continue to ask, continue to believe that I deserve what I'm asking for. I will continue this journey, one step in front of the other. I have not 'arrived'. I am not 'there' yet. And wherever I think 'there' is, when I get 'there', more and more will be revealed that I'm not 'there' yet. I can lightly use the cheesy saying that life is about the journey, not the destination, but the truth behind that statement is life-altering if I let it be.