Regardless of

Another tearful temper tantrum when dropping the Sweetness off at daycare. 

Another slew of apologies to her teachers for her screaming at them. 

Another heartbreaking drive away from my baby.

7:26am Only 11 more hours until I see her again. 

This sucks.

I wish I could have just turned around and gone home. I can teach her far more than her day care can with one on one attention. 

That's not my reality right now. My reality is dropping her off at the best daycare that I can afford. I know they love her there. I know she really does love it there once I leave. I have done the best that I can to choose a place that she will be taught, be loved on and be safe. 

My reality is that I definitely appreciate every moment I do get with her. I have my stressful moments. There are times that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. At that moment all I can do is love. 

I have to choose to love my life. 

Regardless of my dislikes

Regardless of the things I want to change

Regardless of my insecurities

Regardless of my mistakes

Regardless of wrongdoing against me

Regardless of pinching pennies

Regardless of exhaustion

Regardless of bad days

I have to choose to love my life, this day, this moment. 

It's all I've got. 

I refuse to waste the moments I do have on anything less than ridiculous, mind-boggling, contagious joy. 

I can't change what could have been or what used to be. But I can alter what may be by what is. And what is, is beautiful and it's mine.