Six Things

Here are six things that cross my mind a lot.

1. Parenting Ryot. Am I doing enough to show her that there is grace while giving enough discipline? Am I raising a productive and responsible member society while still allowing her to be a kid and play? Am I empowering her to have confidence while still imbedding in her humility? Am I stirring her heart to be creative but still enforcing rules to be followed? Am I encouraging her awesome fiery spirit, but at the same time instilling a respect for authority? Am I teaching her to be nice without lying or being fake? Am I just being with her instead of thinking about all of the ways that I could be doing something better?

2. Cleaning my house. I will never have a showroom house. It's just not going to happen. Life happens at my house. Love dwells there. Fun days with tents, coloring, movies, wrestling, and imagination run rampant. You mix two adults, a 3 yr old, and a dog who shed just by blinking, and my house is never going to be spotless. I'm ok with this, but my desire to please my husband with a clean home haunts me. Where is the balance?

3. People Watching. I find this happens most often when I'm driving. I see the person next to me with a blank stare forward and the lady in front of me is putting her makeup on while the light it still red. The teenagers behind me are blaring their music and dancing like no one is watching even though everyone is definitely watching. What are they thinking? Where are they going? How are they feeling? What's on their hearts? Who are they? What do they like and dislike? Do they live here or are they just visiting? I wonder if we would be friends, or if they know anyone I do. Often I find myself praying for them and there is a part of me that misses them when they go. So many missed connections because our lives are so busy. If we were walking to town or on our horse carriages, I might have started a conversation or two with them. But modern technology takes that away. So for now, I just pray and wonder.

4. Christmas. My favorite holiday. I think about Christmas all the time. When I go to new places, I always imagine what it would look like if it was decked out in Christmas decorations. Christmas lights, carols, ornaments, wreaths, snowman, trees, bells, reindeer, and all of the snow makes everything so much better. We get to eat special cookies, spend extra time with family, give presents to loved ones and get some in return, and remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus. It is just all around the best!

5. Jacob. I text him and think about him all day long. That's what you do with your best friend. I find something funny and he is the first person I send it to. I dream of our home in the future, and what it might look like. I think about ways that I can make him happy. I dissect arguments to work on the ways that I could have acted differently. I pray for him throughout the day. I really wish sometimes that people could see the Jacob I know. He is so sweet, loving, thoughtful, kind, and really all-around wonderful. My best friend. My favorite.

6. Jesus. I need thee, oh, I need thee. Every hour I need thee. It's true. Every thought becomes captive, every situation is filled with hope and joy, and every person I meet is just another creative masterpiece that God wants to pull close to have a deeper connection with. Jesus makes everything in life sweeter, and manageable. I don't have to have control of it all. He does. And I get to experience unconditional love, incomprehensible power, awesome miracles, and joy that really does surpass all understanding. I love this life I live.