Looking down at my feet, one step in front of the other. I see her little chucks, one step in front of the other, beside me on the sidewalk. I see her little arm swaying back and forth matching my arm swaying back and forth which each step, one in front of the other.
For a moment I'm once again 7, walking one step in front of the other, next to her walking one step in front of the other. She told me that we sway our arms when we walk to keep balance. Like blinking, it was something that our bodies did naturally. I could control it, I told her. My arms didn't have to sway for me to keep balance. Then she laughed as she watched me struggle to walk a straight line with my arms stiff against my little body.
She was right.
It's funny how those memories can sneak up on me. Sly little foxes, they appear at random moments, refreshed by the simplest things, like swaying arms.
Another year gone, another Christmas without her. I don't really remember the last Christmas where she was included. How would I have known at 7 that I needed to remember it? Oh, how I wish I remembered it. But now she is gone. All I have is pictures and memories with faint details from over 17 years ago.
17 years. It's been that long? Crazy how much has happened since then. I've made a quite a few decisions and changes in those years, some good and some not so good. But it's led me here, and I'm so grateful.
Why do I take so many pictures? Why do I post so many memories and funny conversations on Facebook?
Because one day I was walking with my mom, swaying my arms side to side and the next I was walking with my daughter and only the memory of my mom.
This life is a short snippet of eternity. Remember everything. Write it down. Take pictures. Remember smells, and conversations. Cherish every moment. Don't forget to take it all in. Don't take anything for granted. Don't forget to sway your arms.
Remember that you can't get to the place you want to be unless you step out, one foot in front of the other.
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