I will try

On Sunday I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a truck. At least, that's what I imagine it would feel like but I can't say for sure as I have never actually been run over by a truck. (Thankfully!) Head pounding, joints aching, coughing, sneezing, labored breathing, eyes watering, abs and ribs sore from coughing, and so much pressure in my face and neck.

I thought I was getting better. Health-wise.

My house is a wreck. I tried to clean a little this weekend and going up and down the stairs sent me into a near-death experience of coughing. I couldn't breathe and it ended with the sweetness patting me on the back "Mommy ok. Mommy ok!" Not asking, but telling me that I was ok.

I thought I was getting better. House-wise.

It's hard to write about what God is teaching me if I'm not actually learning anything new. It's hard to learn anything new if I'm not actually spending time with Him. It's hard to sit down and read my Bible when all I have been doing at home is sleeping. The moment that I feel a slight sliver better than the minute before, I fill it with stuff that I think I need to do.

I thought I was getting better. Heart-wise.

It's so easy for me to feel like Proverbs 31 is a smack in the face of how far away I am from who I really want to be rather than a positive goal to strive for. I can see now that this sickness is begging me to slow down and just sit in His presence.

I will try to get better.