Ready, set, go!
A couple things I realized/learned today.
1. I typically walk with my head down looking at my feet or the ground a few feet in front of me. I've read articles and have been told to hold my head up in confidence when I walk. I tried to hold my head up and take in the world around me as I walked today and I promptly learned that I don't actually walk in insecurity but as a precaution for my own safety. Walking with my head up is just begging for tripping hazards.
2. My brain thinks too much. It's a chaotic traffic jam of ideas, memories, successes, failures, to-do lists, reminders, introspection, observation, and feelings. I write and the letters blur as I try to capture all of the madness into cohesive sentences when I realize that my brain was not made to process a single thought. I just have to try to revisit what my brain begins so that I can finish it. Also along these lines, I have realized that 40 minutes is not enough time for my ridiculous brain to process anything. So now I have a ton of ideas and incomplete thoughts rummaging in between my ears and it's making my brain hurt.
3. It's really hard for me to sit and do nothing. Intentional rest is a frustrating and foreign idea that I really want to learn how to do.
4. It's really hard for me not to defend myself sometimes.
5. I learned today that most of the time I operate under the false belief that I am wasting time. There is so much running through my brain that needs to be accomplished and I can't possibly do it all. The brain part of me gets caught up in the idea of making memories and not taking any moment for granted, but the heart part of me just wants to do what Jesus wants. I know that those ideas are not mutually exclusive, but I need to decipher who is saying what. Because I only want to follow Jesus. Even if I never go anywhere, He is my greatest adventure.
6. I learned that the reason why I say hello people is because it is completely uncomfortable to make eye contact and not say hello. I want to know them. I want them to sit by me and tell me how they think and what they want. I want to know if their eyes light up or if they are sad. I want to hear what their voice sounds like and watch their mannerisms. I wish that I could know everyone in the whole world.
7. I learned that while I see all of the things that I need to work on, Jesus sees my smile and loves to watch my brain process. This is something that I learn and re-learn often. When I sit with Jesus, he reveals so much to me without making me feel like a complete failure. And that is such a relief. I love him.
A couple things I realized/learned today.
1. I typically walk with my head down looking at my feet or the ground a few feet in front of me. I've read articles and have been told to hold my head up in confidence when I walk. I tried to hold my head up and take in the world around me as I walked today and I promptly learned that I don't actually walk in insecurity but as a precaution for my own safety. Walking with my head up is just begging for tripping hazards.
2. My brain thinks too much. It's a chaotic traffic jam of ideas, memories, successes, failures, to-do lists, reminders, introspection, observation, and feelings. I write and the letters blur as I try to capture all of the madness into cohesive sentences when I realize that my brain was not made to process a single thought. I just have to try to revisit what my brain begins so that I can finish it. Also along these lines, I have realized that 40 minutes is not enough time for my ridiculous brain to process anything. So now I have a ton of ideas and incomplete thoughts rummaging in between my ears and it's making my brain hurt.
3. It's really hard for me to sit and do nothing. Intentional rest is a frustrating and foreign idea that I really want to learn how to do.
4. It's really hard for me not to defend myself sometimes.
5. I learned today that most of the time I operate under the false belief that I am wasting time. There is so much running through my brain that needs to be accomplished and I can't possibly do it all. The brain part of me gets caught up in the idea of making memories and not taking any moment for granted, but the heart part of me just wants to do what Jesus wants. I know that those ideas are not mutually exclusive, but I need to decipher who is saying what. Because I only want to follow Jesus. Even if I never go anywhere, He is my greatest adventure.
6. I learned that the reason why I say hello people is because it is completely uncomfortable to make eye contact and not say hello. I want to know them. I want them to sit by me and tell me how they think and what they want. I want to know if their eyes light up or if they are sad. I want to hear what their voice sounds like and watch their mannerisms. I wish that I could know everyone in the whole world.
7. I learned that while I see all of the things that I need to work on, Jesus sees my smile and loves to watch my brain process. This is something that I learn and re-learn often. When I sit with Jesus, he reveals so much to me without making me feel like a complete failure. And that is such a relief. I love him.
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