Love Period

I wasn't planning on writing about this. Honestly, when I opened Facebook today, I was dreading that my Facebook feed would still be stories, pictures, and quotes about Robin Williams. I don't say that to be disrespectful at all. He was a hilariously talented man. I am deeply saddened that he felt it necessary to end his life. But there is nothing that I can do about it, so I don't want to keep looking at sad things. Then I saw Matt Walsh's blog post. Then the article about his blog post. Then the blog post in response to all of the critical hate mail he has received. I saw posts from my friends saying that they agreed or disagreed with Matt for whatever reason. So I decided to check it out.

Usually, I agree with Matt. He writes truth. He isn't always as compassionate and loving as I would like him to be, but nevertheless, he does speak truth. In the article titled, "Robin Williams didn't die from a disease, he died from his choice", he is more compassionate than I have ever read and urges people that there is joy and hope. I read both the blog posts that he wrote and some of the responses and articles written about his blog posts.

Honestly, I can't agree with him more. 

In his response blog post titled, "Depression isn't a choice but suicide is: my detailed response to critics", Matt says, "Actually, it seems that for a cancer patient we are more willing to tell them to fight, we are more willing to speak of the power of prayer, and we are more willing to talk about their choices, then we are with depression and suicide. How can this be? We say of the cancer survivor that she beat cancer. But if we use this kind of language with depression and suicide, suddenly we are heinous monsters. How does this make any sense?" and I echo his question, How does this make any sense? I know that depression is hard to talk about. I know that depressed people are not always the nicest. But this is precious, precious life being dangled over the edge of death. He says that if you knew someone that was about to jump from a ledge, you would shout for them to come down. You wouldn't just stand there silently and accept that it's just their fate to die. But we don't do that with depression. If anything, I think we enable it. And I agree whole-heartedly that all of this "glowing" talk about him being free is detrimental to society. What is keeping a hurting, broken, sad, hopeless person from entering this "free land" void of all pain where they can be happy again? It's so scary, and not at all what we need to be telling the people who are obviously not of a clear mind.

I can't give clinical statistics or detailed medical analysis of depression or mental disorders. But I can tell you what suicide does to a family. I know firsthand what the effects of suicide are. First, my mom's boyfriend, and shortly after, my mom herself. So before I'm blasted for not understanding any part of it, I can tell you I know what both suicide and depression feels like. I've never taken medication for depression and I've never been seriously suicidal myself. Why? Because I saw the ripple effect that my mom's decision had on the people around her and vowed to never do that to another person. I remember looking around at my mom's funeral and not knowing 3/4 of the people. I remember still being in shock. At times I wonder if my mom knew that all of the people that came to her funeral loved her or at least cared enough to show up. If they did care, and they told her, did she believe them or even care? Did it resonate with her at all? I will never know. My mom was clearly depressed, overwhelmed and not thinking clearly. I had only just turned 8, so I wasn't aware of the darkest places of her soul. What I knew in my 8 yr old brain was that she was sad, tired all the time, and very often sick. I thought it was normal. But it's not normal and it's not permanent.

I was still naive and didn't understand the deep sadness of depression until she took her life. I agree with Matt that hope, love, and joy can not coexist with the darkness that is depression. I won't go into the details of the effects it had on me in this blog post, but it definitely influenced every part of my life. It completely changed my worldview and I understood depression every minute of every day. It was only when I was bombarded by love that I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. And slowly but surely through the years, God has been so gracious to put people in my life to be mom's, dad's, sister's, brother's, and friend's; none of course replaced my mom, but they have all been incredibly influential pieces of my puzzle, whether blood related or not.

It was love. All the while, it was only love that could infiltrate the darkness.
Love is the answer. Love is the hope. Love is the cure. Love creates joy.

Am I telling people to stop taking medication or seeking medical attention? Of course not! I agree with Matt that depression is every bit spiritual as it is physical. Depression needs to be tended to carefully. I just can't help but speak up for love. We see all of the posts and kind words towards Robin Williams, but I wonder if he knew that he was that influential while he was alive? If we got in the trenches with our relatives and friends who are battling depression, dug into the deep dark places, and watered those bitter roots with love, light, and joy, I can't possibly fathom that it wouldn't make a difference.

Suicide is not freedom. There is hope. Talk to me. Talk to someone. Encourage others to talk about it.

There is love, hope, and joy available for you, for everyone.

Love is all. Period.