I shall be satisfied with your likeness

Psalm 17:15 As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

I fell upon this verse this morning and it touched my heart. I love this verse, truly. It appeases my morning person, optimistic personality. This morning when I woke up, I was tired but happy. I slept about 5.5 hours in a ridiculously comfy bed with my little girl cuddled next to me. Divine, really. This season of life has been busy with wedding planning, honeymoon planning, new living structure planning, packing, searching for new daycares, Antioch Training School with my wonderful church which includes about 4 brainfulls of reading, several outreach trips, and regularly scheduled meetings, and regular life in general. Immediately, I started thinking about my to do list, what I was going to wear, and what Jacob and I were going to do this evening: pack. (I don't know if he knows that yet, so shhhhhh)

Most mornings for me are the same. I love them. New beginnings, fresh starts, sunrises, COFFEE. Oh, yes, that sweet heavenly aroma of liquid gold. Even when I was a kid I would wake up ready to go. Through the high school years, I would rather my friends wake up early to go to the beach than stay out partying or watching a movie. You see, when the sun goes to bed, I should be in pajamas. That's just how the world should spin. If by chance I'm not in pajamas, I might fall asleep anyway. Just warning you.

The morning time is a time of refreshment, rejuvenation, excitement for the day; all wonderful things, but sometimes life isn't all wonderful things. David was the perfect example of how life wasn't always riches and rejoicing. I never post a verse without looking at the context so of course I scrolled up on the page of my Bible.is app (you should check it out!) Just a few sentences back you see a desperate plea from David for God to answer his prayer. David didn't wake up like Cinderella and have the birds and forest animals gather his clothes while he whistled a catchy tune. Instead, he cries out in desperation, "Hear a just cause, O Lord; attend to my cry! Give ear to my prayer from lips free of deceit! From your presence let my vindication come! Let your eyes behold the right!" (verse 1-2) He was not spewing rainbows and butterflies like he does in other Psalms. He was heartbroken, fearful, and in anguish for the Lord to hear His cry. He wanted justice.

Justice is not a bad thing to desire. Part of God's character is to be just. Psalm 37:28 "For the Lord loves justice; He will not forsake His saints. They are preserved forever, but the children of the wicked shall be cut off." He will take vengeance in His hand and spread justice and mercy in their due time. But what I have been learning and dwelling on for the past several months is that God is more of a BE God than a DO God. Who doesn't love to spoil children? I would love to give Sweetness everything that she wants, but more than spoiling her, I just want to be with her. This is how God looks at you. Don't roll your eyes or skim over this part, because it's true. Let it sink in and marinate in your bones. It's not merely a surface love that greets you and departs. It's a best friend that says He is NOT hanging up the phone until you are laughing again. He is NOT leaving you. Ever. He is there with you while you scream into your pillow. He is there watching those chick flicks crying with you after that breakup. He is there when you lost your job and that pit sunk to the bottom of your stomach. He is there when you are so exhausted from being up all night with a crying baby. He wants to be there. He wants you to cry out to Him because He cares about every little detail in your life.

Much like I would ask Sweetness about her day, He wants us to bear all and open ourselves to Him. And only when we open ourselves to sitting and just plain being in His presence will we get to experience the amazing transformation like David did in this Psalm; from "Hear my cry!" in verse 1 to "when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness" in verse 15.

It is possible. It's there for the taking. And it is better than any other candy-coated message of prosperity you could receive. In Max Lucado's book Just Like Jesus, he said, "God loves you just the way you are; but He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus." God genuinely loves everything about you and where you are in life. What do best friends do when times get tough? They don't just deliver the message you want to hear. They get down in the trenches with you. God doesn't want your attenuated surface response of a simple "I'm fine". He wants to hear of your cry of desperation. John Dawson in his teaching on the Father Heart of God says that, and I'm paraphrasing, when your child gets dirty, you don't reject the child, you reject the mud. You wipe the mud off and you still love the child underneath. So God will step into the mud with you, pull you out, and lovingly wipe away the mud that clouds the beauty of His most beloved creation: YOU.

So this morning, with a smile on my face, I sing

In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise,
Give me Jesus!

And I sing this because the powerful, merciful, just, all-knowing Father, hears my cry, sees all my faults, and still chooses to call out the truth and love me the same. "I shall be satisfied with your likeness."