This weekend I attended a conference called World Mandate. I couldn't unpack all of the truths and great conversations right now even if I tried. That will possibly be a different day, with clearer thoughts.
As we were getting out of the car tonight, Sweetness said, "I really hope I can just go in and go lay in bed because I'm really cold and tired." Same, child, same. That is exactly what she did. She was asleep before I said 'amen' in our prayers.
I went downstairs to do the same, after a couple adult-ish things like taking vitamins and such. I pulled my hair into a messy bun to brush my teeth. Right on the top of my head there was a short, wavy grey hair sticking out above the rest. To the right tucked back in the pony tail was a trail of grey and white hairs. I'm used to seeing them, and actually have a lot of grey hairs that tend to hide just under the top layer of my hair.
Recently I had a conversation with some friends who are older than me about grey hair. I told them that I love my grey hairs. Their response was that I loved them now but just wait a couple years, and continued with the different colors they have tried to dye their hair to hide greys.
Maybe in a few years I will hate my grey hairs. Maybe their unpredictable nature will irritate me and I will start dyeing my hair. I can't promise how I will feel at a later date. However, right now I love them. I love how they curl and stick out. I love how they hide just under the surface most of the time. I love how they have a spring in their nature that's unapologetic.
I hope with each passing year, my inhibitions become just like those grey hairs.
I hope that over the years my maturity and crazy levels rise at the same rate.
How great would that be? I would love to be the crazy grey haired lady that hides candy in her pocket and says what she means, in love of course. I am hardwired to be on the cautious and strategic side of things, which has served me well in several areas of my life. But I want to be wild.
I want to grow to embody the emotions of that crazy, curly, grey hair that stood tall out of my head above the rest.
Some of you will ask, why wait until you are old? I'm not. I'm exploring and learning and letting go every day. I just hope, in the end, that I arrive wild, free, uninhibited, light, and full of crazy ideas.
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