Small effort big reward

Men need to be respected.
Women need to be loved.

We know this from Ephesians 5 and from general observance of the human nature in relationships.

So the next logical question (that unfortunately isn't often so logical) would be to ask your spouse:

How do you receive love/respect?
What can I do/say to make you feel loved/respected?

Such a simple question that could make a world of a difference.

If the answer is that your wife wants you to genuinely listen to what she has to say when she is stressing over an argument with a friend or relative, what harm would occur from just listening?

If the answer is that your husband needs to hear more encouragement and praise instead of the honey-do's or complaining, how hard would it be to change the way you speak?

Is it harder to be miserable or to make a small effort towards increasing the happiness of the one you love. Cherish the relationships you have. Nurture them as precious gifts.

A plan foiled...happily

Talking to friends about the Holy Spirit while reading a book about transforming my mind while my Pastor is taking us through a study on the Holy Spirit on Sundays.

Think I'm supposed to learn something here? When God wants to make His point known, he repeats himself. It is shown all in the Bible...ok, I'm listening. I'm learning.

Two weeks ago my Pastor showed us that listening to the Holy Spirit should be an ongoing, day by day, minute by minute communion with the Spirit. The book I'm reading calls it the "indwelling" of the Holy Spirit. My Pastor said that we need to listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling us to do no matter how small it is.

Last night I had just settled Ryot in bed and went back downstairs. Feeling slightly like death while coughing and sneezing, I sat down on the couch to relax a little and maybe watch a movie.

Out of nowhere, I hear this:

Proverbs 31:10

An excellent wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.

 

But I really want to lay here.

I'm so tired.

 

Proverbs 31:15

She rises while it is yet night

and provides food for her household

and portions for her maidens.

 

But I really want to watch this movie.

I don't feel well.

 

Proverbs 31:27

She looks well to the ways of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

 

Ok, I'm now up and cleaning my kitchen.

I load the dishwasher and smile as I think about Ryot helping me with the dishes. Love that little girl and her servant's heart!

 

I wipe my counters and see the medicine that spilled on the counter from earlier causing me to pray for my sweet Ryot to feel better. I feel accomplished as my countertops are clean. I feel proud that I am creating a clutter free environment for Ryot and myself. I feel proud that I am making this crazy life on my own as a single parent. I feel so thankful for where God has brought me from helpless to hopeful.

 

As I head upstairs, I'm so thankful for the toys that I have to step over.

I walk up the stairs and see my sweet angel sleeping in her bed. I of course have to go kiss her cheek, whisper I love her and say a prayer for her health, safety and that she would know the love that her heavenly Father has. I take a shower and as I lay in bed I am so proud of the little home that I have been blessed to be slowly crafting with God's help and direction.

 

And my grand plan was to lay on the couch and sleepily stare at a tv screen.

 

God's plans are always better than mine.

 

 

Who is the unlovable?

 

 

 

Love the unlovable.

What is your definition of unlovable?

Who is your definition of unlovable?

I remember going to pick up pizza with a friend. When we pulled up, she hesitated and told me she didn't want to go in the pizza shop. I looked through the windows and saw the employee high-fiving a little kid and smiling at the kid's dad as they walked out. She was still refusing to go in the shop saying that the guy was "freaky". When I looked back, I saw for the first time his arms and chest were covered in tattoos, his face had several piercings and his clothes were not the greatest...and it hit me...He was "unlovable" to her. And at that moment something else hit me - because he was unlovable to her, at that moment she was unlovable to me. Both of us were wrong.

People with piercings, tattoos or crazy hair are just that - people with piercings and tattoos and crazy hair. People like me and you. It doesn't mean they are irresponsible or dangerous or "freaky". They choose to wear art on their body instead of have art hanging on the wall. Still people in need of kindness, compassion and love....just like the Brady Bunch family sitting across from them in the restaurant.

"We have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."  Romans 3:23

Who is the unlovable in your life?

Is it the people in your life that have a bit of a wilder streak than you?
Is it the Brady Bunch people that look like they have it all together?
Is it the family member that you don't think is making the right decisions in life?
Is it the friend who always nit picks or complains?

What about politicians? What about our President?

What is your definition of unlovable?

We are called to love. Period. Not only love your family. Not only love the people you agree with or those who agree with you. Not only love the people who look like you. Not only love the people who live in your area.

Love. Period. An open blanket statement to love everyone. An open blanket statement to be of ONE mind.

Love God. Love People.

Caring is becoming extinct

Philippians 1:21 is a pretty popular verse:

'For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.'

We are all anticipating and desiring the coming of the Lord. However, if you read further, there is a struggle here. Paul says that he wants to depart and be with Christ but it is necessary for him to stay with the people for their benefit.

What Paul does is for others. He says he is 'hard pressed' between the two choices. He isn't ONLY saying that he wants to be with Jesus, he also has a heart for the people. We should want to be with Christ, but we should have such love for the people that we are hard pressed with the decision between the two. Like on verse 25, we should 'continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith.' Not for our degrees or careers or personal goals/success, but the building up and edifying of the other believers - All as a group edifying each other.

There should be no such thing as people not being invited to church or outings, judgement of circumstances or closed homegroups. What is that?! You might not be a 'people person' by nature but we are called to be 'people peoples', so you can no longer use that as an excuse. Everything we do should be building each other up, encouraging, admonishing, stretching our faith and being genuinely involved in each others lives - all to the glory of Christ.

Open up to those around you.
Don't be afraid to be real.
Get out or your comfort zone.
Build each other up.
Get interested in the lives of the people around you.
Love as God loves.
Wake up and stop wasting time.

Purpose in Trials

Everyone goes through trials. Everyone's trials are different. I might go through a temporary wanting-to-pull-all-my-hair-out-because-my-toddler-won't-stop-saying-mommy-mom-mom-mom-mommy-mom-128359823750179542837523576 times-like-Stewie-from-Family Guy trial. It might be a bigger more heart-breaking trial like my marriage ending a year ago. For my friends in college and my little sistaface Paige in highschool, your trial might be senoritis or just the stress of the school workload. For the Nevils, they experienced the trial of a horrific car accident that took the life of a Godly mom/wife and severely injured a bright, beautiful daughter (who is recovering quite nicely, praise God!).

When Paul wrote this particular letter to the Philippians, his trial was that he was in prison. From prison, this is what he wrote:

"Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. ¹³ As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. ¹⁴ And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
¹⁵ It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶ The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸ But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, ¹⁹ for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. ²⁰ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴ but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. ²⁵ Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, ²⁶ so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me."
Philippians 1:12-26

You hear believers and unbelievers alike say "Everything happens for a reason". Myself along with hundreds of other people have been touched and truly encouraged by the story of the Nevils. (I don't know if the link will work, but you can search "Praying for the Nevils" in Facebook and find them) I have been following their journey on Facebook and adamantly praying for them. I have been brought to tears by their faith and positivity through a horrible tragedy in their family. I don't think any child should ever have to go through life without a parent. I know firsthand how hard it is. But look at how many people have been ministered to through Steve Nevil's unwavering faith in our great God. There is purpose.

I was completely at the bottom of the bottom, heartbroken and scared when my marriage ended. I didn't understand what I did wrong or why I wasn't good enough. I didn't know how I was going to be a single mom. I ached to my core thinking that I had failed Ryot in giving her the stable home that I always wanted for her. But God....God had a bigger plan for me. I am now more in love with God than I ever have been in my life. I am happier than I have ever been. I have joy that lasts throughout daily struggles and worries. I have a purpose and a calling to do more and be more and accomplish more than I ever could have imagined. I could not have gotten to this place while still trying to please everyone around me more than God...including my husband. Now, I'm not saying this to get into a debate on whether God caused or allowed this to happen. That is another topic entirely.

Paul could have whimpered and sulked and cried out to God asking why had He let such a horrible thing happen to Him. Instead Paul focused on what was being accomplished through the trial. Through my divorce, I now have a heart for marriages and single parents. I have an experience that helps me identify with others. I have met some of the most amazing people and have gotten to minister to people in similar situations. Every experience, good and bad, has shaped me into who I am. I can sulk that I am a struggling full-time working mom living in a new area...OR...I can trust that God has me exactly where He wants me and is preparing me for something greater. I can trust that God will be my validation and will fill every void for Ryot that I thought my failed marriage would cause. There is purpose.

We are human, we have emotions, but we can NOT be run by our emotions. God will receive the glory whether we give it to Him or not. But how much happier could your life be and what could you accomplish if you surrender your wants, desires, struggles, heart aches to Him and see a purpose in it?

We are allowing our emotions to limit us from the freedom and purpose that we already have in God. Wake up and accept the victory that Christ purchased for us on the cross!

Spirit and Truth in One

Last Sunday I tried a new church and fell in love. I fell in love with the people. I fell in love with their openness. I fell in love with their passion. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. To top it off, the message was exactly what I needed to hear. Imagine that! ;) We just so happened to start a new series on the Holy Spirit. Seriously, perfect timing to pair with the conversations I've had recently, the book I've been reading recently and ultimately exactly what God has been teaching me.

Below are my notes, thoughts, quotes, etc all meshed in one.

Acts 18:24 "Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures."

Sounds great, right? He had a thorough knowledge of the scriptures...this is something to be envied. However, the latter part of vs 26 says that Priscilla and Aquila "invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately."

God is thoroughly in the scriptures, but there is so much more to God than just knowledge. The question that needs to be asked is this, "Do I have a living, acting, knowledge AND experience of the Holy Spirit?"

John 4:24 says "God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth."

There is no separating the Spirit and truth. You can't say that you believe in the Bible but not believe in the Holy Spirit. My pastor said "Get off the see saw! You are missing out AND actually swinging in error." We can not continue to separate the Spirit and truth...And here is proof:

From the very beginning Genesis 1 says that the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. He was there from the very beginning. The Holy Spirit is the co-eternal, exact representation of God on earth with us. Genesis 1:26 reveals a plural pronoun saying "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness."

2 Corinthians 13:14 says "May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." The Father, the Son and the Spirit - three in one. God is calling us to embrace the Holy Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:17 "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." We can't treat the Holy Spirit as a commodity. The Holy Spirit grieves and loves. The Holy Spirit is not an "it". You can't choose God and Jesus without the Holy Spirit. They are all co-equal.

John 14:16-17 shows that the Holy Spirit is our advocate.

John 14:26 shows that the Holy Spirit teaches and reminds us.

Jesus by choice limited himself to time and space. In John 16, Jesus explained to his disciples that it would be BETTER for him to leave and for them to have the Holy Spirit because we can have the Spirit all the time. Jesus could only physically be in one place at a time, but the Holy Spirit dwells within those who believe. The presence of God IS the Holy Spirit.

Example: the wind. We can't see it, but we certainly see the effect. A relationship with God should be accompanied with the effects of the Holy Spirit in our lives!

Pastor Fred then pointed out something that I had never really thought of before. He said "The spirit realm is more real than the physical realm. The Spirit of God created the physical world so all of reality actually dwells in the Spirit of God." Now if this doesn't get you excited, I'm not sure what will!

Ephesians 1:13 says that we are marked with the seal of the Holy Spirit. When a king marked a document with a seal it was binding and authoritative. No one could take that away. How true is that that we are marked with the very Spirit of the living God - the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead! No person, no spirit, no entity, no experience, no sin, no fear, no doubt - NOTHING can separate us from the Spirit living and dwelling in us.

Meditate on the Bible, yes, but there is SO much more that He wants to show us as His children!

Joshua was told by God to study the law of Moses. Joshua was obedient and knew the law backwards and forwards. But then God told Joshua to march around the walls and shout and then the walls would fall down. Where was that in the law of Moses? It wasn't. He had to listen to the Lord's Spirit. The Bible provides truth but the Holy Spirit speaks in the NOW way.

Romans 5:8 shares God's love being poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. I certainly want God's love. I can't receive God's love, or healing, or blessing or favor through any other facet except His Spirit.

I can memorize every scripture in the Bible. In fact, I would personally love to do that. But what good is it, if we are not whole-heartedly listening to the Spirit for what we are supposed to DO?

Accept the Spirit. Accept His role in your life. Experience, literally, a whole new world of possibilities.

Get it. Got it. Good.

I had an entire blog post typed up about something that I talk about frequently, but had problems when I went to post it.

So I tried to post it again and had more problems.

Ok, I hear You loud and clear. It's not my place to elaborate this time.

This is all I have to say today:

No Sleep For Me!

Four reasons why I couldn't sleep last night:

 

1. Thunderstorm.

There was one HUGE BOOM that set off car alarms last night. Seriously? Thunder so loud that it shook the cars? I don't like rain or storms (as I referenced in my post here), but I was reminded by my awesome sister-in-law today, through her facebook status, that "this is the day that the Lord has made", so I am going to "rejoice and be glad in it". (Psalm 118:24) I didn't like that the thunder woke me up. I didn't like that the car alarms all went off for 20 minutes keeping me awake. But I did like how I was immediately reminded how great and powerful my God is. It was a moment between me and Him that I guess I needed. Everything happens for a reason and I fell back asleep until I was woken up by reason #2.

2. Peeing - This might be TMI. Sorry, not sorry.

I think my subconscious was hearing the rain outside because I woke up not just merely having an urge to use the facilities....I woke up and sprinted up the stairs like 7 steps at a time to barely make it to the bathroom on time. Errrr, my bed was so comfy, but I can't be frustrated considering I drank like 3 bottles of water right before I went to sleep. But after that cardio work out, I couldn't fall back to sleep because of reason #3.

 

3. Committee Meeting.

When you think and think and think and think about sleeping and think about not sleeping and then start thinking about what you are going to wear and eat and do and drink and think the next day and then think about where you are in life and how much money is in the bank and why you can't figure out how to describe what water tastes like....I call those committee meetings. They are great to do during the day like in the shower or while driving, but at night they are quite inconvenient. But all this thinking then turns into dreaming which brings me to #4.

 

4. Nightmares/Thriller Dreams.

 

 I was not dreaming about Jennifer Lawrence. I was not even particularly dreaming about The Hunger Games, but more of a thriller dream/nightmare with a Hunger Game influence. I remember almost the whole dream/nightmare, but it ended with a one-eyed, 6'4, 300 pound, Thor-looking beast of a man creeping around a van that I was hiding behind while holding a 2x4 ready to smash my head in. Not exactly a pleasant feeling. I can't say that it was entirely a nightmare because I wasn't really terrified like scary but more terrified like anxious and feeling like those very creepy moments right before a murderer in a mask jumps up in front of the window you are intently staring at. I was waiting and creeping and sneaking and lurking and hoping that this giant didn't find me and crush in my skull. I suddenly woke up from that and strangely wished I hadn't. I wanted to see how it ended. I wanted to escape. But now I will never know.

So right now, I am making myself a pot of coffee...yes, an entire pot. Don't judge me.

Couldn't I?

I don't think I'm the only person who has ever said, "I can't".
I don't think I'm the only person to think "I'm not good enough".
But Jesus paid my debt. While I was still, and am still a sinner, my debt is paid.

What an incredible gift!

I am saved from death, yes. I am saved from unhappiness and I take that so for granted. There are so many people taking pills for depression.  There are so many people who end their lives because they can't find a way to be happy. My own mom ended her life because the stress of the world was too heavy on her. Completely unnecessary! Even if my world turned upside down...even when my world turned upside down when I was 8 and then thrown for another loop just a year ago, I still have every reason to sing His praises and be filled with indescribable joy. My Savior took my sins, washed me white as snow and now His Holy Spirit lives in me. There are so many people addicted to drugs or alcohol that give them that temporary high when they could have this permanent freedom and joy that no man-made drug could ever produce! I am so grateful beyond words and emotions for the sacrifice made on my behalf, but it can't just stop there. I can't just be grateful and continue living in my little grateful bubble. What are we doing?

Matthew 9:18-22
While he was saying this, a synagogue leader came and knelt before him and said, “My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.” Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples. Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

This woman was healed by merely touching Jesus' cloak, right? No. This woman was healed because she believed that by merely touching his cloak she would be healed. So often in my life I have desperately wished I could have walked with Jesus. I wish I could have been there to see Him perform miracles. I wish I could have seen Him walk on water. I wish I could have heard Him speak and witnessed first-hand how He loved others with the perfect amount of justice and mercy.

WAIT. STOP.

 

This is crazy! Why would I believe that Jesus would perform these miracle, teach great life-changing sermons, love His people perfectly, die for my sins, rise again to be seated with the Father, and then all of what he did just vanish? This is a ridiculous belief! Now, I didn't realize that that was what I was believing but that is sure how I was acting! After He ascended to be with the Father, it says in Acts 2 that "all of them were filled with the Holy Spirit". When I took the step of believing in God, His Holy Spirit came to live in me. Yes, Peter got to walk and talk with Jesus, but I have Him living in me. 

 

I believe His Holy Spirit lives in me. Couldn't I teach great sermons?

I believe His Holy Spirit lives in me. Couldn't I love His people as He did?

I believe His Holy Spirit lives in me. Couldn't I perform miracles?

 

We are capable of great things not because of our own goodness or willpower but because our powerful and perfect God.

 

Take a step out of the comfortable grateful bubble. There is a world beyond imagination that we were destined for! A world of the seen and unseen. A world of spiritual warfare and great miracles.

 

 

The New Me

I see girls with long beautiful flowing hair and I just gush. I think they are so beautiful. Then I start to feel insecure about how I look. I start to put importance on this outer carcass I carry around on a daily basis. I start to think about losing weight and shaping up. Ya know, it is going to be swimsuit season soon!

But I have been challenged. I have been awakened and given an opportunity to be me. To be who I really want to be and who I am destined to be. Switchfoot has it so right:

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

So I did it. I chopped off my hairs and I dyed them a spicy red color.

Now you might be asking, can there be that much liberty in a simple hair cut? I say, YES! Absolutely! I feel liberated. I feel spicy and unique. I feel like I'm not trying to fit into the wrong mold anymore. I feel like I am finally at the place where I can get over this insecurity of what I think people see and just enjoy what I see and MORE importantly what my great God sees, which is my heart. My heart loves the Lord. My heart loves His children. My heart yearns to see people rid of the addictions and traps that we ALREADY have the victory over!

So yes, this hair cut is a little sliver of what allows me to be the me that I was created to be. Which, in my opinion, is a better me than I ever could have tried to mold or paint or fashion!

I hate the rain.

There are so many people in the world that love the rain.
I have many friends who love the rain.

I do not love the rain.

I remember when playing softball or soccer in high school I would love for it to start raining. It meant that we had an extra challenge and that we got to get muddy. BUT then the officials would call the game because it was 'too dangerous'. Rawr. Frustrating. And outdoor events? Forget it. Ruined. Outdoor weddings, picnics, going to waterparks, sporting events...ruined because of the rain or lightening.

Here are some rare instances that I like the rain:

Jumping in puddles with Ryot.
            After some time, you have to go back inside and get dry and warm, and then I'm ready for it to stop raining.
If I am in Florida with my best girls and we are running crazily through the rain pretending we are 5 yrs old and having a blast.
            But again that lasts for maybe an hour or two and I'm ready for it to not be raining anymore.
Dancing in the rain.
            Cliché I know, but hey, I'm a hopeless romantic. But then again, you can only dance in the rain for so long before I'm ready for it to not be raining anymore.
Naps.
            But I have a toddler. When am I ever going to get to take a nap?
Watering the earth.
             Yes I know it's necessary....I just wish it could rain while I was sleeping at night so that I can have the sunshine during the day.

I think that's about it. So with that being said, I plan on NEVER living in the following places: (stolen from this website)

Mobile, Ala.: 67 inches average annual rainfall; 59 average annual rainy days 

Pensacola, Fla.: 65 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average annual rainy days

New Orleans, La.: 64 inches average annual rainfall; 59 average annual rainy days

West Palm Beach, Fla.: 63 inches average annual rainfall; 58 average annual rainy days

Lafayette, La.: 62 inches average annual rainfall; 55 average annual rainy days

Baton Rouge, La.: 62 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average annual rainy days

Miami, Fla.: 62 inches average annual rainfall; 57 average annual rainy days

Port Arthur, Texas: 61 inches average annual rainfall; 51 average annual rainy days

Tallahassee, Fla.: 61 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average annual rainy days

Lake Charles, La.: 58 inches average annual rainfall; 50 average annual rainy days

Yes, I realize that Pensacola, FL is number two on that list. I might move close, but I hope to never live there. I can't stand rainy days!

One thing I will say, however, is that rain definitely helps me to appreciate the sunshine more. I love the sunshine. Most people get annoyed when they get in their car and the sun is shining in their eyes so bright that they can't see, but I love it. This may make me sound crazy but I feel like the sun is just one of my special little ways of communicating with God. I feel the sun on my face and the warmth and I can't help but smile because I know that God is present. I know that God is present all the time, but the sun is like a little reminder or an embrace. It's like God is smiling on me and it gives me great joy. I feel rejuvenated and excited. I soak it up. He is there, surrounding me, wrapping me in his light. It is a little escape, if only for a few minutes, to the feet of my Abba Father. It is a feeling of complete happiness and serenity. For me, the sun creates pure joy.

I would be perfectly happy to live in a place where it never rains. But maybe, for me, that is exactly why rain exists in my life.

Inspiration

I like learning new things. I like finding new organizations that I believe in. I like seeing funny pictures, reading inspiring stories and watching thought-provoking videos. I like being caught off guard by words of wisdom, encouragement or accountability when I need them the most. Ok, the accountability one might not fit in the "like" column all the time but in the long run it is definitely a plus.

I crave intellectual stimulation. I like crazy moments of nothing. I like napping. I like watching a stupid movie every now and then. But when I get done doing these stupid things, I almost always feel a twinge of sadness. Sadness that I could have been doing something that was meaningful. Here are some things that inspire me and/or I like:

Rockstar Ronan - The story of Maya, a spit-fire power house momma of three sweet boys and little Poppy girl on the way. She lost her third son, Ronan, to Neuroblastoma when he was just 3 yrs old. She writes with such raw emotion and so fearless that it is impossible to not be changed after reading her blog. Maya writes with honesty, holding nothing back. Ronan's fight for his life, his spicy spirit, his beautiful eyes and this incredible story of love, family and cherished moments are definitely life-changing, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping and tear-jerking. So totally worth it.

You can learn more about Neuroblastoma and Ronan from The Ronan Thompson Foundation.
Here are three of many facts that you can find on the website here.

• Childhood cancer is the number one disease killer in children.
• Nationally, childhood cancer is 20x more prevalent than pediatric AIDS. Pediatric AIDS receives 4x the funding that childhood cancer receives.
• The American Cancer Society spends less than 70 cents of each 100 dollars raised on childhood cancer.

These are our children, our nieces and nephews, our siblings, our friends that we are talking about. Please help us Paint the White House Gold this September. We really need to raise awareness for childhood cancer to get the funding and care that these precious babies deserve.

Maya and Woody are just some of the many parents trying to survive the horrible grief and pain of losing a child that I can not even imagine. Through reading Maya's blog, I found an incredible soldier for grieving parents everywhere, Dr. Jo, who I will talk about next.

Dr. Jo Cacciatore, Center for Loss and Trauma - Dr. Jo is mentioned very often in Maya's blog. She has been instrumental in not only Maya's life and grieving process, but to everyone she encounters. She has a heart for people that makes mine look like stone. Her holistic approach to life and healing give her the spark that I think the world is craving. She, like Maya, is going to move mountains.

Dr. Jo started The MISS Foundation in 1996 and the The Kindness Project in 1997, which I think EVERYONE should participate in. (find out how here!) The MISS Foundation highlights the acronym C.A.R.E.S.

• Counseling
• Advocacy
• Research
• Education
• Support

And The Kindness Project is a really great way to put meaning behind being kind and thoughtful. It's easy to walk by something that needs to be done. But if you have Maya's son Ronan or Dr. Jo's daughter Cheyenne on your mind, doing something kind for other people takes on a new meaning. You are brightening someone else day because your life was brightened by that special spirit. You are doing something kind because those kids will never have the chance to. You are stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something different because it is nowhere near the battle that these kids go through with cancer and other trauma. Please check this amazing woman out. She will change your perspective.

Ryot News - This website is self-described as such: "Everyday we turn to news outlets to get reports of recent events or learn previously unknown information. Up until now, news has been all about "What's going on in the world?" RYOT lets you know "What's going on in the world and how YOU can be a part of it." RYOT is the only news outlet bringing you updates as they happen and letting YOU become part of the story. With RYOT, you 'Become the News.'"

Am I a little biased and excited that it also happens to be my daughter's name? OF COURSE! I mean, get a look at this bundle of awesomeness! My little riot of a Ryot. :)

Project Jubilee - The International Justice Mission is nationally known for "stopping slavery, sexual exploitation, and other forms of violent oppression. They rescue. They defend. They counsel. They educate. They prosecute. They pursue change on every level to stop systems and cycles of abuse." My dear friend, one of my beloved momma's, and my on-fire sister in Christ, Lisa Tuttle, made it a passion and goal to fund one of these rescue missions. She speaks of it in her blog here.

IJM, Project Jubilee and Lisa are all working towards making a difference in the defenseless and abused. These rescue missions may be the only source of hope, love, and support that these adults and children receive in their life. For only $4500, we are creating a safe haven for, (Lisa says it best) "Someone with no power to free themselve could have a new life that doesn't include abuse, exploitation, or oppression. We could make that happen for someone. Maybe a lot of someones."

Plus she has purple hair, which just makes her way more worth listening to. ;) Check out Project Jubilee and make a difference. Check out IJM and get involved. Read Lisa's blog and laugh, cry and be challenged every day of your life. She really is an amazing someone.

Back to Africa and Heart of the Bride - Back to Africa is self-described best "The Back to Africa (BTA) Project is focused on providing a fair wage to vulnerable widows, orphans, and refugees (our partners) in communities throughout Africa. Proceeds from the jewelry sales are sent directly to Africa and used to support our orphan ministries through Heart of the Bride." Heart of the Bride is self-described as "Heart of the Bride was established in 1998 as a non-profit organization dedicated to helping provide for the needs of orphans around the world. Our primary mission is to Share From Our Abundance With Those In Greatest Need."

Some of my close friends and family have dedicated their time, resources, hearts and ultimately lives for this calling. They are reaching the hearts of the street kids in Zambia helping to teach, guide, shelter and love.

Fuel Freedom - This is a more recent discovery. I can't quite say it is a passion yet because I do not know much about it. Rasied in Israel, Eyal Aronoff co-founded the Fuel Freedom Campaign and is primarily focused on energy and philanthropy. You can read about Replacement Fuels here. I think his logic and arguments make sense and I am looking forward to seeing how this unfolds. But like everything it needs funding and awareness in order to be heard. Why don't you check it out and let me know what you think? 
 
These are not all of the things that I am passionate about...just some ideas, people, foundations, causes, etc. that have popped in my head. However, I can't seem to forget about a certian blog post I read by the all-famous, previously mentioned Lisa, titled Be It. This particular post is really a challenge issued to people like me. I have this passion and drive to help others, but what am I doing about it? Well, I'm writing this blog hoping that someone will read it and help me create awareness.

Yes, but what am I DOING about it?

"Be the change you wish to see in the world", right? 

Don't make me guess

One day my mom was there.

The next day she wasn't.


Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to take way too many pictures.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to tell those around you that you love them.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to not go to bed angry.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to be able to laugh at yourself.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to be honest.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to go ALL OUT.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to tell those around you that you miss them.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to hug and be affectionate.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to make memories.
Maybe that's why I feel it's so important to live each moment like it was your last.

Because it just might be.

I can smile and say hi from a distance, but that won't help me remember what you smell like or feel like in my arms.

I smell thisand I remember my mom.

 

When I receive a big huge swallow-me-up hug, I always think of my Granny. She gives the BEST hugs! Or when I see or hear a reference to Dr. Mario. haha There is no greater champion then that woman! I don't know how she does it. I have the best Granny in the whole world. That is a memory we made that will stick with me forever.

 

People that spend a lot of time together start to get in that rut of taking each other for granted. When Ryot was first born I got to spend a couple months working from home. I was all in new baby bliss but I would have given my left arm just for a meaningful conversation with an adult. I was going stir crazy just being home with Ryot. I loved every little thing she did. Every coo, burp, yawn, sigh, movement. I was in awe. I have been in love with that little girl since I very first heard her little heartbeat 2 days after I found out I was pregnant. She is perfect. (picture moment!)

Awwww she is just so perfect and precious and I love everything about her. But if I'm being honest, I had moments of wanting to pull all my hair out! Like this:

haha oh goodness that's funny right there.

 

Anyway, long blog short, there were moments that I took that down time with my sweet angel for granted. Now that I work full time, I really really appreciate every second I get with Ryot. But why is that? Why does something have to be taken away for us to appreciate it? I loved every minute I got with her before and I don't think I could EVER get enough time with her to satisfy my craving, but I do know that I miss her even more now that I only get a limited amount of time with her.

 

What is this "absence makes the heart grow fonder" crap? I really hate that sentence. Just appreciate what you have.

 

Don't make me miss you. Spend time with me.

Don't make me wonder if you love me. Just tell me you love me.

Don't make me sit there begging for your attention. Let's make memories.

Don't under appreciate the things I do for you. I try really hard to be a kind, loving and thoughtful person.

 

Same thing with your friends, kids, parents, etc.

Life is short. I'm here now writing this blog. I might not be here tonight. I love you. All who are reading this. I love you my friends and family and dear darlings.

 

I'm not perfect by any means. But I do try really hard to give life and love everything I've got. I wish I had one more moment with my mom. I wish I could tell her that I love her. I wish she could meet Ryot. I wish I could ask for her motherly advice and hear her stories. But because of my mom I have this crazy appreciation for these things called life and love.

 

Don't keep the people in your life guessing. Say "I love you" too much. Give big hugs. Do something special for the people in your life. Make a point to spend quality time. Not just in the same room breathing the same air, but quality time.

 

It's the little things in life that go a long way. Don't be afraid to love and fall in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Stop. Analyze. Encourage.

Today is International Women's Day. I posted this video on my facebook earlier today with this post:

"Today is International Women's Day. I would not by any means be considered a feminist, but I did learn some new things from this video. It's not life changing, but if you have a few moments to spare you might find it interesting. This is not just for moms that are working outside of the home but those that are working IN the home as well. What can you do today to say thank you to the women in your life?"

Well after watching the video and reading some articles about the amazing things women have done and are doing in the world, I wanted to see what others were saying about it. I like to read. I like to write. I like that people read what I write. I like that some people like what they read when I write. So therefore, I like to read what other people write, especially if it's what they love to do.

Google came in handy and I searched for quotes about women. Very vague, I know, but I wanted to leave the wide interweb world open for results. What I saw was honestly a disturbing shock! The level of degradation of the view of men is heinous. It's no wonder that women complain about their men being disrepectful or lazy. Come on, people, we are setting our men up for failure! Words have a much larger impact on the human pschy than people realize! Here are some of the quotes I read:

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.” - Joseph Conrad

“As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.”  - John Lennon

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”  - Brigham Young

“In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”  - Margaret Thatcher

"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him." - Groucho Marx

"I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere." - James Thurber

"The only really happy folk are married women and single men." - H.L. Mencken

Now there were hundreds of other good quotes speaking of women. Women's courage and strength in child-bearing. Women's sex appeal being more intellectual than physical. Women's hearts of gold. Women's undying love. Women's forgiveness that surpasses normalcy. Again...hundreds of good quotes. I was just shocked to see how many had to put men down to lift women up.

If someone is constantly telling me that I'm fat or asking if I am pregnant, I am not going to have the confidence to step out in that little black dress. If I continually tell my man how lazy and stupid he is, what is going to make him want to take initiative to do something nice for me? However, if I am encouraging his work ethic and praising him for his kindness, would that not propel him further to make sacrifices just to make me smile and provide a good life?

If I tell Ryot that she is stupid and boring, what is going to make her want to pick up a pen and color me a picture? What is the difference between talking to our men? Shouldn't we be building them up instead of nagging their faults? Shouldn't we be encouraging good habits and praising them for progress? Shouldn't we be appreciative of the things that they do for us instead of expecting to be waited on hand and foot?

Maybe it's old fashioned and outdated. I'm not even saying that I disagree with all of the quotes above. As I was reading them I was even guilty of letting out a little "amen" or a laugh every now and then. I can have a sense of humor, I just think there is a fine line of what to tease about and what not. AND I just so happen to think that putting your other half, children, friends, or anyone in your life down just so you can look better is NEVER the better option.

Wake up people! We have so much influence with our words.

Tell your girl she is beautiful. Appreciate the simple ways that she looks at you and loves you.
Tell your man that you are so thankful to be his or specifically thankful for something he did recently.
Tell your kids that they are so fun and creative. Encourage them to learn and discover!
Thank your boss for your job.
Thank your parents (blood parents or not) for the financial/spiritual/emotional support through the years.
Give more hugs.
Share a smile.
Give a just because kiss.
Send flowers.
Leave encouraging sticky notes in random places for them to find.
Give a spontaneous massage.
Plan a fun date.
Draw them a picture - even if it is bad stick people art.
Help randomly with the chores.
Cook dinner together.
Dance.

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.
BE ENCOURAGING.

*Disclaimer: I fail at this daily, but I will keep trying my hardest!!!*

What have you done to show appreciation and care for the ones around you lately? Do something spontaneous today!

I Choose To Write. Every Time.

2 Corinthians 10:7-11
"You are judging by appearances. If anyone is confident that they belong to Christ, they should consider again that we belong to Christ just as much as they do. So even if I boast somewhat freely about the authority the Lord gave us for building you up rather than tearing you down, I will not be ashamed of it. I do not want to seem to be trying to frighten you with my letters. For some say, “His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.” Such people should realize that what we are in our letters when we are absent, we will be in our actions when we are present."

Oh the beauty of written word...

I have always had a problem with eye contact. I'm not 100% sure why. I have speculated about it over the years and the closest thing I can come to a conclusion has to do with insecurity. When I make eye contact it's not a problem of me looking at the other person but that they are looking at me. They say "eyes are the window to the soul" and I believe it. Now scientists have discovered that it really is true here. They say that the 'differences in the iris can be used as a biomarker that reflects differences between people.' Crazy, huh? You probably don't care to hear about that; It's just the nerd in me who is fascinated in those kinds of oddities.

I just make eye contact and I get anxious. Do I look ok? Do I have something on my face? What are they thinking? What are they feeling? Do they approve? What is their opinion?

Why do I place so much value on the opinions of the people I talk to? (And not so much their opinions of me but that they feel comfortable enough to share their opinions of a topic with me. I would say its a 50/50 struggle) I'm not 100% sure about that either. The only conclusion I could come up for that question is that I am real. I am honest. My life is an open book.  Now there is something to say for common courtesy. I shouldn't have to say that but I'm putting the disclaimer out there. Just like in Mona Lisa Smile:

Betty Warren: "You don't believe in withholding, do you?
Katherine Watson: "No. I do, however, believe in manners. But for you, I'll make an exception."
 Ask me a question and I'm not going to clam up and avoid it. I will tell you the truth. I will tell you what I believe, how I feel, what I think or what my experience has been. But somehow it never comes out as eloquently or fully formed as when I write. I feel like I am home when I'm writing. I feel like there are no judgements, no boundaries, no rules. Just as Paul says in the verse quoted above, I feel like "what we are in our letters when we are absent, we will be in our actions when we are present." I don't feel that I am a different person when I write, but merely a more communicative and accurate person. I have time to gather my thoughts - vent and erase if need be. I have time to figure out what it means to me instead of what sounds good.

When asked a question I don't know the answer to, I am honest and say "I don't know." Sometimes I feel retarded that I don't know. I don't like feeling stupid. When faced with the same situation with writing, I can research (I LOVE research), find out the answers I'm looking for and then learn and share my new knowledge. I have time to see what other people think about a specific topic and form my own opinions. I have the opportunity to just be and feel exactly as I want to in that moment without anyone staring at me waiting for an answer.

I have always been labeled a people person. I have been told and often relay to others that I have "never met a stranger". I think it's true. I meet someone and just love them - for who they are, for who they aren't, for their different views or for the same, for their style or complete lack thereof, for their unique ability of being the only person who is exactly them. I am the only me. They are the only them. That is something unique and special in and of itself.

I will continue to try to be as strong, straightforward and eloquent as I try to be when I write. And I will try to continue not only being the only me in the world, but being proud that I am the only me in the world. I am here for a bigger purpose, a higher calling than my little world.

First Trip to the Lakehouse!

Had a blast at the lakehouse! Here are some pics!

We got there by dark. We were greeted with friendly hugs, a warm fire, and good drinks. Ryot and I had a dance party outside until it was time for her to go to sleep (waaay late bedtime makes me a cool mom right? lol). The dance party continued longer than I thought it would; I think partly because we were trying to stay warm and partly because Ryot was deliriously tired. There is just something about dancing around a fire in the dark with good friends. Have you seen Dances with Wolves? I'm not the only one who enjoys it. :)

The rest of the weekend was filled with clearing out some woods, gathering firewood, playing football/soccer, playing with Ryot on the playground, sitting on the dock over the beautiful water, watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre, sitting around the camp fire, teaching the guys how to roast marshmallows since they were burning them, eating s'mores, and most importantly getting to have good conversation and quality time with really great, kind, loving, nice people. I had a blast this weekend.

Ya know, every trip has it's ups and downs. I had plenty of ups, and I had one major down.....literally down....like falling down a flight of stairs. How embarrassing! My foot just slipped and everyone heard me tumbling down. I didn't do any flips or anything but I fell pretty hard. haha I was able to laugh about it but was in more pain than I would admit at the time. Aaron was right there by my side in a flash of a second making sure that I was ok. *melt my heart* And I was so glad that he was because I thought I was going to pass out. I had to sit there for a while and just relax until I could see straight. My shoulder is really sore still and I have a pretty good size bruise on the back of my right thigh. Eh, it's just a flesh wound, right?

Bahahaha ok it wasn't that bad. Blood was not gushing everwhere, but I'm still sore today.

In fact, my whole body is sore. I haven't really done any physical activity for a long time. I go to work and I go home. I play with Ryot but she is still little so it's not very physically active. Well with the firewood, sports, dancing and running around at the lakehouse that I did this weekend, my whole body is sore. And I'm pretty sure 90% of the blame for my abs being sore is all the laughing. I love this family. I had so much fun and felt so comfortable. I hope to have many more weekends at that lakehouse. :)

There is Freedom

Through some research from this website and others like it, listening to the Holy Spirit and searching scripture, I experienced a profound epiphany.

There are two types of strongholds that you can have in your life: an incorrect view of God and an incorrect view of yourself.

My problem does not lie in seeing God in an incorrect light. I do fall short of seeing God in his entirety, but I do not see him as only a judge or only a taskmaster who is keeping score of my sins. My problem lies in the incorrect view of myself. The rejection and abandonement that rocked my world as a child created a wound that lead to a stronghold of incompetence and fear of failure.

John 8:31-34 says "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?” Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.

Jesus didn't just die to forgive us of our sins, but also to deliver us from the power of sin!  Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He took all of the sin that we had created, are participating in, are thinking about participating in and all of the sin that we will commit in the future, and completely took the blame and the punishment. We have been made blameless by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. A saint is defined as a person recognized as holy or virtuous.When God looks at us now, he doesn't see all of that sin, but he sees Jesus; the perfect one who took our place. Yet instead of being a saint and living in the victory I have in Christ, I often times fall into the rut of just merely being a forgiven sinner. I know that I am forgiven because of scripture like this: Ephesians 1:7-14 "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight  making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ  as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will,  so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory."

Then why is guilt, incompetance, fear of failure, fear of abandonement and fear of rejection so prevelent in my thoughts? Because I am allowing them to be a stronghold in my life. I all too often speak self-curses in my life and open the door for all sorts of evil, doubt and insecurity to come in and get comfortable. I used to point fingers with anger and say that it was my mom's fault or someone else's fault for creating the wound in the first place. My thought process was that if they hadn't created the wound, then I wouldn't be in the thought process that I was at that moment. Well, I have since gotten past those moments and no longer hold thoughts of bitterness or anger towards my mom, dad, or anyone in my past. However, I still have this stronghold of the incorrect view of myself and my worth. More often than not, I believe that God's word is true, but I don't understand how someone as perfect as He is could love someone as tarnished as me. Instead of just being humbled and grateful for the incredible gift of freedom and salvation, I allow this stronghold of incompetence and over self-evaluation to dwell and cook up a nasty recipe that stalls/stumps my growth.

The first step in solving a problem is identifying the problem:
    What are my wounds? rejection, abandonement, incompetence
    What are my strongholds? seeing myself incorrectly

And then you have to do something about it.
Well, what did my God do? He sent Jesus to die on the cross to not only bear the weight of sin but deliver us from the bondage of sin. We have the victory over every sin, every temptation, every type of evil. "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Cor 15:57 We have the power of the Holy Spirit of the living God in us and we sit idle worrying about things that we ALREADY have the victory over.

Wake up and claim your victory! (And I'm talking to myself too) Addiction, guilt, temptation, heartbreak, rejection, abandonement, fear, physical and mental illness, hatred, resentment - all of that was nailed to the cross and we have the freedom in Christ to not be bound anymore. Renounce those thoughts. Renounce those insecurities. Repent of sin. Release those strongholds. Take hold of the sword of the spirit and get ready for a battle. Open your eyes to the world around you. above you. below you. There is more to life than just what we can see.